So, our month in Mozambique is officially over! I can't believe I can say that I'm done with month one of the World Race, as it oftentimes still doesn't feel like I've even started yet.
Much of this month has consisted of me trying to figure out why exactly it is that I am even here. Never in my life did I invision myself in Mozambique working as a missionary and wearing ankle-length skirts (style is no longer much of a priority in my life; sorry.) I don't think I've even thought about Mozambique since my 8th grade Geography class, and this whole month I've been looking to be convinced by someone or something that being on the World Race actually made sense. Up until today, that hadn't really happened.
That being said, as we said goodbye to our ministry contact (Peter) and his team at Well of Jacob, something felt so right about what we had done this month and what we are going to do throughout this year. I said teary-eyed goodbyes to all the kids and slightly more cheerful ones to the adults. As we prayed over the orphanage and the rest of the organization, I realized how vital this month was to me, and probably to the rest of my team. This was my very first encounter with a culture that is completely different than mine, and being in the presence of people who do life so differently was blessing enough to make the whole experience thus far worth it, as hard and confusing as it has been.
I woke up real early the other morning after being sick all night and watched the sun come up as I asked God to please tell me why the heck I was in Mozambique, away from everything that makes me feel safe and comfortable. Life had just started to get really good in the months leading up to the Race; I had finally found the comfort and the normalcy that I had been praying for and chasing after for years. The insecurity that was introduced to my life years ago was starting to fade with new relationships and a sense of belonging that started to make me feel whole.
In that moment, sitting on the swings after a long night of nausea and being paranoid that I had malaria (I didn't), I wasn't feeling like it was worth it. Then, a thought popped into my head and all it said was, "You are here to know my people better." I think God is going to be continually reminding me this year to calm down, to stop complicating things, and to play to my strengths…which lie in knowing people exactly as they are, and meeting them exactly where they are at. I do not have to fabricate an experience so that it looks more World Race-y, I just have to be present in whatever situation I'm in and realize that God is there, no matter what. God and I have a pretty nuanced relationship, and the complexities and subtleties of it are what draw me closer to Him, even though sometimes I'd like Him to look as obvious to me as He does to others. But He knows me. He knows that what I needed this month was to simply build relationships and show Christ to others through being a friend and a servant. He knows that that is what I'm best at. I might not always have the right words, or the right theology, or the answers to the mysteries of God and Christianity…but I have a heart for Jesus and for others, and I have two very capable hands that can do pretty much whatever task they are assigned. I'm here to use them; simple as that.
So hey, world. What can I do for you?
