I’m so obsessed with this place called Nepal!
Before I begin, this is a long post. But I encourage you to please read it in its entirety. It’s important.
This is something I have been very hesitant in sharing, as it is something that is really not discussed in America much. However, it has become a very real part of my life, and it is actually a very real thing all over the world. Although I didn’t even want to write this blog, I’m stepping out in boldness and obedience. I am posting it anyway because I think it is a true testament to the power of Jesus Christ. If ANYONE has any questions about this blog, I truly encourage you to email me, or Facebook message me and I would love to answer any questions you have.
Here we go.
Spiritual warfare around the world is a REAL and HUGE thing the enemy uses to push people as far away as possible from the Lord. This is my experience and where the Lord has taken me in all of it:
Before Training Camp I had some things happen where I was really being attacked by the enemy. One night in particular was a very real, and scary experience for me.
I was sitting on my bed FaceTiming a friend, and we were talking about being saved. I was stating that I really don’t remember the time or place that I was saved, and that I felt as though I didn’t have that clarity that everyone else had about when they were saved. However I voiced that I knew I was saved. As my friend began speaking, across the room I noticed a dark presence. I continued listening to him, but kept my eyes on this figure. As he continued talking the figure started moving. As it moved it began getting closer to me. Finally it came over me, and my hair stuck straight up on my head, and I began to shake. I immediately told my friend that I needed him to pray for me because I was incredibly scared at this point.
We prayed, and I ended up getting off of FaceTime. As soon as we got off, I began to cry and violently shake with fear. I got my mom and she prayed over me. I remember shaking so bad and I prayed that the Lord would allow my body to stop shaking, and immediately the shaking stopped.
I talked to my pastor about it the next day, because it literally scared the crap out of me. He reminded me that I would be leaving to spread the Word of God very soon. This is something that the enemy is so against. Of course he was going to do anything he could to scare me to make me not want to go, or to hinder my opportunity to bring God’s Kingdom to the nations.
When I got to Training Camp I brought what had happened up to leadership. I ended up having another attack one night at Training Camp as well. We did an airport simulation where we were in a building with the lights on. We were all sleeping on our sleeping pads on the ground, and there were airport noises going through a speaker. I woke up at 3:00am in paralyzed fear. I had 50+ people all laying around me and I was so scared I couldn’t function. I remembered rebuking the spirit of fear in Jesus name, and I know the spirit fled, but I was very uneasy about it.
I brought it up to my squad mentor and she prayed over me 3 times that evening, and I didn’t have any issues after that.
Until India.
In India once we got to our ministry site we began to feel a lot of spiritual darkness. From the beginning I was unable to sleep. I would wake up in fear multiple times a night, and would have to wake up my teammates to pray for me because I was so paralyzed by the fear I was experiencing. Throughout the course of our ministry, the darkness grew more evident, and our team had to pray protection over ourselves daily, multiple times a day. My team really fought for me that month. Honestly they prayed over me in the mornings and during the night. They let me climb in bed with them when I didn’t want to be alone on my sleeping pad. God’s light always shines through the darkness.
I ended up hearing about deliverance which is basically casting out spirits that are not of the Lord that we have enabled to come into our lives through things we have done in the past to give the enemy a foothold.
Now, for those of you that are like, “Um, this chick is crazy. Is she like, possessed or something?” Haha. Keep reading. I promise I have more explaining.
As a believer of Christ, and because I am saved, I am unable to be possessed. Praise the Lord. But those spirits don’t live inside of you and control you, because that is where the Holy Spirit lives. They can still, however, be present and are able to cast a shadow in some areas of your life. The thought of deliverance scared me. But I knew that I didn’t want to keep dealing with what I was going through. So I really prayed about it.
One morning on the rooftop in India, journaling in my hammock, the Lord brought some things to me that I hadn’t thought about in years. I literally wrote 3 pages and I didn’t even know what I had written until I looked back and saw that I had written those 3 pages front and back and had to reread them. What the Lord revealed to me broke me hard. They were things that I had suppressed so much in my mind for so long ago, that the Lord was like, “Keeley, you HAVE to deal with this stuff if you ever want to grow in intimacy with me.” It was hard.
India was a whirlwind and I was beyond ready to leave because I really just wanted to get away from everything that was attacking me. I figured I could leave it all behind in India.
FALSE.
When we flew to Nepal we flew into Kathmandu, and went to our debrief in Thamel. I did feel a lot of peace being in Nepal, and I absolutely LOVED Thamel. But where we were staying, I felt so uneasy about my room. It was dark and scary and I knew I wasn’t going to be comfortable sleeping there. I ended up sleeping in a twin sized bed with my friend Alyssa the first night and again, hardly slept. The next two nights were the same way. And it really took a toll on my emotions and just my worth.
I kept thinking, “I’m a 25 year old adult who can’t even sleep in her own bed”. It was really frustrating.
We ended up having a day for one-on-ones with anyone on leadership, including our coaches as they had traveled all the way to Nepal to spend debrief with us! I had signed up for a one-on-one with Toni who is one of my coaches and she is AMAZING. She had been there for me even before we left for Launch through some things I was dealing with. She is so wise and just an amazing example of what it means to be the hands and feet of Jesus.
Right when I sat down with her for my one-on-one, I immediately spilled all of the things I had been struggling with with the spiritual warfare and I told her I felt like I needed to walk in deliverance even though I was still new to what that even meant.
She began by asking me if I had cut off any soul ties that I had been holding onto. When I answered her, I told her I really didn’t know. And at that she told me that I needed to. If you don’t know what a soul tie is, it is a tie that you have between you and a person. A lot of girls have them with past boyfriends or people they have given their hearts to, and is basically an unresolved emotional attachment. I had some soul ties that I didn’t know I needed to cut. So Toni walked me through a prayer to cut them. At the end of this prayer, I literally felt warmth in my stomach and a flood of emotions poured out of me. I immediately started crying and I knew that freedom was possible. It was the craziest feeling, and I knew instantly that those ties were cut.
We then started talking about things in my past that I had done that could have possibly given the enemy a foothold. When I was in high school I always told people I was a Christian and that I loved Jesus, but I also told people I thought I was a bit Buddhist too because I thought I agreed with that faith at one point. Now I know that I am very much not even close to practicing the Buddhist faith, however I used to collect a lot of Buddha statues. I remember one day the Lord telling me to get rid of them, and that day I got rid of them, but I still believe that gave the enemy a foothold. So we addressed that as well.
We talked about many other things that I will leave out for the sake of length. But I will say that one of the last things we talked about was lies that I was believing from the enemy. Lies like, “You will never be good enough”. “You’re not pretty enough”. “You’re not as connected to Jesus as everyone else on your squad”. There were many more, but Toni just started pouring truth into me. She rebuked the lies and just poured truth through scripture and brought to light the truth of the lies that I was believing. It was incredible. I claimed the authority that I have in Jesus name, and the spirits that were causing me problems fleed.
At the end of it all, she prayed for me and I felt so many emotions, but I couldn’t help but cry in the freedom that I felt.
Since that day I have slept every night, all night long. I am walking in freedom and I can honestly say I have never felt more free in my life. I know now that the enemy was threated by what the Lord was doing in and through me and because he was threatened, he was attacking me. But we all know that God is bigger than the enemy, and the Lord always wins.
PRAISE THE LORD.
I am literally walking in full blown FREEDOM. I can’t even explain the feeling. This is what life with the Lord is supposed to look like. The enemy tries to tear us down, but God always wins in this battle because the fight has already been won.
So as I stated in a previous blog post, the Lord gave me this verse in India and I will forever live by it:
“It is by freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1
We are FREE! The enemy has NOTHING on us. He wants us to believe he does, but he doesn’t. He is a sad, pathetic being. All throughout that dark time in India the Lord was reminding me of the authority I have in Him. That He lives in me, and that I can use that authority, and spirits that are not of the Lord have to and will flee in Jesus name. Again the enemy has NOTHING.
I’m so on fire for this it is absolutely crazy. I am certain that the Lord wanted me to share this story with people back home. I know that a lot of my squad has been dealing with spiritual warfare and I have been able to walk through it with them because of what I have gone through.
The Lord is really asking me to walk in this and be a light for others.
Again, PLEASE, if you have questions about this blog email or message me on Facebook. I am very passionate about getting across the importance of this subject to others who may or may not be walking in this.
Preview for next blog! I will updating you on our off day bungee jump day! Ahh!!
I love you guys so so much.
Peace and Love,
Keel
