What would you say if Jesus walked up to you and said these words? Come with Me. Wherever I lead. Whatever the price. Whatever the loss– Would you say yes?
Late one September night (2018), I was driving home from a friends house listening to worship music and having quiet time with the Lord. His presence was overwhelming. I heard Him ask, “would you give up everything you have and follow me? Just by your faith alone?” This took me by surprise– not knowing exactly what He meant by this, my logical self went through every scenario of what I would be giving up. School, friends, family, the security of my own home, the comfort of everything I was used to. At this point of my life I had been longing more than ever before to find the purpose for which He had created me for. I was sick and tired of going through the motions of life. My “college experience” which included lots of drinking, partying, and bad decisions, left an even bigger hole than the one that I originally tried to fill with those things. In a sense, I feel as if I had been waiting for something like this. And God knew that. He knew my heart was ready, even if I didn’t. Ready to leave my old life behind me and follow Him.
After contemplating this question for a while, I smelled the strongest scent of lemons (weird, I know). Mind you, I didn’t have any air-freshener in my car and I was literally driving down a highway… I kind of ignored this for a bit, but something in my head kept telling me to look up the symbolism of the smell of lemons when I got home. So of course when I got home, that’s exactly what I did. The first thing that popped up when I searched “smell of lemons symbolism” was “God’s Presence.” Although odd, this immediately confirmed everything for me. Like if I had any doubts in my mind that this was God talking to me– they all went away.
Although I didn’t know just how literal He was being at the time, I took a step into the unknown and said yes to Jesus. This one question from Him started His movement in my life. My heart became more open to the things He had in-store for me and less on my “I’ve got it all figured out” attitude. The first thing that I felt like He really placed on my heart was The World Race. I began researching all about it. Well God, I now see why You asked me that question… because if I go on this then I would have to give up everything and trust completely in You to carry me through. I prayed about this for a couple of months and still wasn’t quite sure if this was for me. I started to get extremely discouraged because I was so passionate about finding out what God wanted me to do with my life. And I really thought this was it. The enemy was hitting me with everything at this point– “you’re too young, you’re crazy if you think YOU can travel to another country and spread God’s word, look at your life and all of your failures…” so many negative thoughts came in like a wave and I began to seclude myself from God. It felt like a major setback from where I was. I kept asking Him, “why do I feel so far away from you right now? Why is it that I can’t ever STAY close to you?”
Well maybe because even though I’m a Christian, I believe in God and listen to Him, I haven’t fully surrendered myself to Him–to LET Him make me new and put my past/old ways behind me. I was so tired of not feeling close to God, so the night of March 10th, I surrendered myself fully to Him.
It is by GRACE we have been saved and by how much God loves us.
There is nothing we do or did to deserve this.
Fast forward to now, through all of the doubts and setbacks, it’s finally happening! I get to experience this amazing 11 month journey to share and show the love of Christ all around the world! I am so expectant on how He’s going to mold my heart more like His and the ways in which He is going to use me to further His Kingdom. Looking at it from this perspective makes me realize how important my “yes” was. I had no idea what He meant that night when He asked me to give up everything and just follow Him. But I said yes and took a step into the unknown. He was calling me deeper. And now I get to experience the blessings and privilege of going on this trip because of it.
I have such an overwhelming desire to follow Him and go wherever He leads me in this life. I can’t wait to travel the world, pour out His Love to people, and share His Word for the rest of my life. Some people won’t understand this, giving up having a career for a time or even forever, just to go mission to people around the world. But once you fully surrender to Him, He will take you places you never could have imagined. Your previous desires of what you thought your life should or would be like, will disappear.
All He wants is a yes. He knows how scary the unknown is for us, that is why He promises to guide you every step of the way. But since we have free will over our lives, it is up to us to take that first step of faith and trust in Him. He will do the rest.
