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The gas spewing volcano!

Yo shawty where you at?
 
Ok got that out of my system…
 
If you were wondering I am still in Antigua, Guatemala. We are leaving here for Honduras on November 10…..AAAHHHHHH sooo soon. This month was very stretching, fast, long, testing, fun, frustrating, [insert adjective].
 
The beginning of this month I was in a period of silence. I was not hearing from God, I still am not fully hearing from Him, but I have been falling so deeply in love with Him. All I am able to do is pour out thanks for who God is and walk in the knowledge of Him that I have learned thus far. My faith is really growing. During worship one night God revealed more of His Kingdom to me. He asked me if I really loved Him and for the first time I could say yes without having any doubt. Then He showed me a small glimpse of His majesty, a room for me to bring my prayers and truly see myself in His Kingdom.
 
Then yesterday during church God asked me some tough questions (I journaled during church since I wasn’t feeling the headphones with the English translator on the other end). But God brought me back to our training camp when we did a refugee training where I was sitting outside of the attacks of my country…safe(ish). It was a horrible feeling even though I escaped to a neighboring country. I got out, but so many people were still in there, in the ruin, in the darkness, in a cloud of death. I could have helped them get out, saved them from death.
 
I couldn’t help but think about when I get to Heaven and look down on earth. Will I think that my life was wasted? That I could have done more? The only way to Heaven is through faith in Jesus and so many people do not know or understand that. God showed me a vision of me in Heaven looking down on the earth and death was lingering throughout it. I have the answer to life, His name is Jesus and it starts with surrendering yourself to Him.
 
My heart was really troubled with the fact that I could waste my life, it still is. My heart longs so much for people to understand the life and the freedom that comes from Jesus. God began asking if I would do anything for Him, if I would risk my life for His people and His Kingdom. My spirit says yes, but my flesh says uhhh excuse me…I want to get married, I want to start a family, I want to travel, I want… I am still wrestling with this question; I want my yes to be a true yes. I was not put on this earth to make a name for myself, I was put here to bring a piece of Heaven to earth, to tell people how to have eternal life, to let Jesus live through me!

the cross that overlooks Antigua! BEAUTIFUL! The city is surrounded by mountains and volcanos