I am in Cambodia now, will be leaving for somewhere in this country today. Well, I am writing this blog about debrief and want to share my heart with you. I am in the process of being refined and redefined. Sounds great, ay? Imagine having everything you believed about yourself to be wrong, that the lies that you know are lies are REALLY LIES!
For me, ok here is my vulnerability for you…I was/am believing that I am not good enough, that I need to work for love, forgiveness, and grace, that I am a disappointment, that I will be rejected. Lies, ya know? I am the opposite of all those things, but after believing those things about yourself for 22 years and then hearing that I am good enough, that I am not a disappointment, that people are not the judge of me is really hard to grasp.
The hardest part about this all is that it really takes faith. I have to believe that these things about me are true, to believe that I AM WHO GOD SAYS I AM! I am not Kearston defined by the world, I am Kearston, a daughter of God, a princess, a heiress with Christ!
Being refined is like being burnt with fire to get rid of the impurities. I guess that is why the Bible always talks about God as being like fire. When we get to heaven the things of this world WILL NOT last, it can't stand the heat. You cannot be in the presence of God and have pride, greed, insecurities,… They all get burnt up in his presence. So that is what is happening to me right now. I am being refined in the sight of God! But man does it burn.
Please be praying for me to walk in who God says I am because the lies are trying so hard to hold onto me. I am tired of believing them and I am tired of living in fear of who I am really called to be. God has a perfect view of each and every one of you and I challenge you to figure out who that is. For some of you, along with me, that means figuring out who God is and believing that he says who he says he is! From there your mind will be blown and you can’t help to see how he sees you!
Here are the verses from Romans getting me through this:
For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
Romans 8:14-17
