Silly Stories from South America

 

Number 5… Major word mess up: The majority of people on f squad and my team have taken Spanish at some point in their life; in high school and even in college. Wanting to communicate with the community, we have tried to recall everything we have ever learned to be a fluent as possible with our broken Spanish. Sometimes our memory of the words were not exactly right. There was one memorable time when a wrong word got used. It happened in The Bolivian food market. Team Rak Chazak was shopping for the week for the first time. Chris and Chrislyn were our 2 main people trying to get us the best deals (since many of the shops added on a “gringo tax” every time they saw us). When Chrislyn went to price how much onions were for a kilo she accidentally asked how much a kilo of a horse was. The Bolivian woman answered her as if she said onion but it took her saying it 2 more times and correction from Chris to realize she was using the wrong word. Every time we ate an onion we would call it a horse. 

 

Number 4… Boiling Nalgenes:

So on the race, water bottles get particularly nasty and stinky. For the most part they sit in the sun half full and get moldy and when the water has been consumed, instead of being washed, it just gets filled back up. One day in Peru while Rak Chazak was on cooking duty I had the brilliant idea to boil our nalgenes to kill all the mold and nasty stuff on them. Everybody else agreed that this was a smart idea so we boil a pot of water and ask other squad mates around if they want their nalgenes cleaned. We had plenty lined up to clean and everybody was so excited to have a clean water bottle again. The first 2 were placed in the boiling water and the plan was to leave them in for 5 minutes. A couple minutes go by and all is well…so we think. The 6 of us were jamming out to some music keeping track of time. When the 5 minuets were up, we pulled the water bottles out and start to have a mini freak out!!! The boiling water had shrunk the water bottles. The bottles were still usable but instead of holding 32oz it held 12oz. From then on we have resorted to using Clorox when we can find it. 

 

 

Number 3… Cooking In Peru:

One week team Rak Chazak was in charge of cooking all meals for the squad (45 people). We were the 3rd team to cook so we inherited a lot of things that didn’t go bad like rice and noodles. The first lunch we decided to make chicken and rice with broccoli. We boiled the chicken and added some broth for flavor until the water came to a boil. When the water came to a boil we dumped the rest of the rice we inherited in without looking at it first. We realized after dumping the bag in, that the rice had been infested with ants. When we realized this I spent the next 30 minutes scooping out hundreds of ants out. The more we stirred it the more ants we would find. Eventually we gave up and hoped that nobody would see an ant and would just think that it’s pepper. 

 

A little extra protein never hurt anybody right??? 

 

Number 2… Altitooties 

When we arrived to Quito, Ecuador our team started having issues with tooting. The 2nd morning we were there I woke up and had to open the window because it stunk so bad. We started to blame this on the altitude calling it the Altitooties. The more the month went on people started to realize that it may not be the altitude but certain foods that do not agree with their stomachs. For MC, it was dairy. For Sarah, it was corn (which we had tons of). For Josh, it was vegetables (he’s not use to eating healthy). For Chrislyn it was everything…and for me, it was the parasite. Chris was the lucky one to come out of the month without tooting.

 

Number 1… What everybody knows now as … (drum roll please) …Kaysea’s poop story

 

It was one of the first days in Peru during debrief. Joel (our ministry contact) has stressed the importance of getting back to the compound before dark because of safety so we left the mall in Trujillo around 5 thinking that would give us enough time (2ish hours) to get home. So we get in the cab and try to explain where we are going. He told us he knoew where we were going so er got in. Well… We got lost and called Joel to try to explain to the cab driver where we were staying and how to get there but the cab driver did not want to listen to Joel and just handed the phone back to MC. Needless to say we wandered around until it got dark and ended up getting out at a brightly lit chicken restaurant and waited for Joel to come get us. During this time I had to use the restroom and went back with MC to it. There was not any toilet paper in the bathroom so MC went to ask Chrislyn for the toilet paper. 

 

*During this time I just waited to make sure there was tp before I went* 

 

MC came running back, not with tp but with news that Joel had arrived in the cabs to get us home and that it was time to go. So I got out of the bathroom, still having to go, and got in the cab to head back to the compound. We waited for a good 5 minutes in the cab while Joel was figuring everything out. The longer I waited the more I had to go. So we finally got moving and I couldn’t have been happier! 

 

 

I kept repeating this pray over and over in my head. I started to sweat. I handed my bags and food to Chrislyn and Sarah so that when we got to the compound I could run straight to the bathroom. While doing this, Chris thought that I was sick and told the cab driver to slow down.

 

 “Chris, don’t tell him to slow down. I need to get there as fast as possible” 

 

Chrislyn begins to pray for my stomach to calm down but nothing is helping.

I have to go! I have to go bad! 

 

“Stop the cab! I have to go now!” 

 

I get out of the cab and Chrislyn follows me. I start pacing up and down the sidewalk thinking that maybe just maybe pacing would make it go away…but it didn’t so I turned the corner and ran to the closest tree. One thing that I did not realize is that the sidewalk stepped up a bit and tripped and ate it!!! 

 

 

I stand up and find a place to use the bathroom. While I’m squatting in the side of the street Chrislyn decided to stand guard for me. All of a sudden I hear voices laughing at the situation. I look to my left to find a family of 6 were sitting outside of their house witnessing everything that has and is happening. Because of their laughter, the people living in the house directly across from when I am doing my business came out, made eye contact and started to laugh. Then the store owned comes around the corner to see what all the commotion was about. 

 

Chrislyn: “Kaysea, where do you want me to stand? There are too many to block them all”

 Me: “I don’t care, can I have some toilet paper?” 

 

So after I finished I quietly got back in the car and we finally made it back to the compound. Every time we passed the store my teammates would call it Kaysea’s tienda