Where we are
We thought we were going to be in the southern part of Colombia in San Pedro, but we are actually in Medellin and will be also spending time in the northern San Pedro. Medellin is one of the most beautiful places I’ve seen. The view from our host families house is beautiful! We are on the side of a mountain range overlooking a large valley filled with the huge city of Medellin. Our elevation is so high up that when looking off the balcony we are parallel with the clouds and the birds.
We are staying at the house and church of Pastor Willy and his beautiful wife Cristina (Mama Cristina). It’s a building of several stories with the church on the bottom, their living quarters on the second floor, and ours on the top. Asembleas de Dios, Ministerio Nueva Vida is their ministry and church that we are partnering with while we are here in Colombia.
What I’m learning
-“to feel“
Our word for N squad this month is vulnerability. We were asked to talk with God about how we can be vulnerable with Him and how we can be vulnerable with our team. To both of those questions He told me “feel”.
I knew exactly what He was referring to. I didn’t want to give Jesus my “yes” in this command. But He is the one who commands emotions as well as actions. There’s pain in my life that I had convinced myself I was fine with and that the situation was fine. In reality, I was in denial of how I really felt about it. So the mourning that I should have done 4 months ago I’m just now experiencing. I didn’t want to feel the pain because it’s the worst pain I’ve felt. But God has graciously given me an amazing team that has chosen to love me and give me their “yes” everyday. They have listened to me share the detailed story, they have fought to restore my image of broken relationships, and they have held me while I broke down crying on a dirt road in the middle of Colombia.
So my view of love has been corrupted , and I’m learning now what true love is. What do I want to leave behind as I enter into this new book of life. I want to stop loving with the purpose of it to being received or return. I want to do it regardless of those things.
-“confrontation“
I’m learning that I have a community that is a safe place and we can share when we’ve hurt each other, hold each other accountable when we’re not acting Christ like, and always have open arms of forgiveness in grace.
This family of mine “Team Lit” has been such a huge blessing. We don’t allow things to go unspoken when there is tension. Maggie is definitely helping me grow in that, as I never want to bring up how I feel because I often feel that it’s a personal issue I need to deal with instead of addressing the hurt.
-“brotherly love“
These brothers of mine have meant so much to me. I thought going into training camp I would be on an all girls team because I love guy friends, and I expected God to force me to grow in close relationships with women. Which I have a lot in the past two years, and I understand now the privilege of having all of the boys from our squad on my team. God is showing me how Christian men are supposed to care for women verses the let down I have had from other Christian men. I’ve made a many of excuses for men in my life knowing that we’re all human and make mistakes, but also because they were Christian brothers and I didn’t want to talk ill of them. But I realize now I have settled for little a lot in my life, and these wonderful men of God have loved me, their sister so well.
-“asking what God thinks“
I’ve been learning with my emotions and when I believe lies, to ask God what He thinks about me, what He thinks about other people, and what He thinks about the situation. God is very kind and when His children seek Him, He makes himself known. So many times just by asking these questions and listening for God’s response I have been able to shut down the spiral of believing lies.
