Remember not the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in
the desert.
Isaiah 43:18-19
Hello friends! I am still here. I know it’s been a while since I’ve blogged. With the end of the semester I have not been able to blog like I would have liked to. I believe through it all the Lord was orchestrating that time for this blog.
There has been tying up a lot of loose ends through exams, the end of the school semester, and the end of my time in Wake Forest, NC. I made it through my second year of seminary, and now I will be taking a break from Southeastern until I return from the World Race (Good news: I should be able to get two class credits from the trip). But to catch you up on what’s going on keep reading.
WHAT WAS
“Remember not the former things”
I had originally planned to leave Wake Forest in August so that I could spend a month or two with family before I left. However, by the Lord’s gentle hand, he showed me I was just prolonging a goodbye to the life I have known for the past two years. But now I have to not cling to, and not reminisce, over the time I have had in Wake Forest. I have to say goodbye to the best job I have ever had, a church family, friends, and to a solid plan of education.
My time in Wake Forest and at the Seminary has not been a fantasy. I cling to it not because it has been the best years of my life, but because it has been the hardest and loneliest two years of my life. I cling to it because though it has been hard and lonely I have had a church family at Imago Dei who was there during the hardest times. I have had friends like Alexa who have encouraged me in the hardest times. I have had a job at Stewart’s Bistro that has given me a place of laboring for a community of strangers that I have come to love and would give my life for. I have been taught by amazing professors such as Dr. Eccher, Dr. McKenzie, and Dr. Hammett who love the Lord and love people with all their hearts, and they have truly been Christians worth emulating.
“Nor consider the things of old”
The past two years have put a new definition to hard. I have struggled with sins that I never thought I would, that I was convinced as a mature Christian I would never fall for, and at Seminary of all places. I have once again battled depression. I have been lonely in the most extreme sense, as the ones who cared about me the most lived 3 hours away, trying to convince me time and time again to leave Wake Forest. I have felt a million miles away from God at times and believed that He had turned His back on me for good. I have believed at times that I didn’t know how to hear the Shepherds voice. I have gained a best friend and lost that best friend. I lost on a second separate occasion another dear and close friend.
It would be so easy for me to create an identity of my future based off of all these events, but I refuse. I trust my unknown future, to my known God, because I am relying on scripture to feed me truth about his goodness and faithfulness:
WHAT WILL BE
“…I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the dessert”
“Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” (Luke 12:32)
“If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land.” (Isaiah 1:19)
I realized just the other day that I have tried to bank on God’s promises to me… the problem was I was not really trusting in God’s promises, I was trying to bank on an unknown future of detailed plans, and if the book of James has showed me anything, only God knows that. I think I had it set in my mind that if I believed enough that something would happen that it would… Confession: I’ve been trying to play God again.
But my hope is not in a “promise” of a future plan of where to live, who to marry, how many kids I will adopt, where they will come from, or if I will finally get that golden retriever named Aslan. My promise is that God is not going to leave me in a helpless state (John 14:18). He who gave us Christ gives us all things generously (Romans 8:32). He doesn’t only give, but he DELIGHTS to give. It is His good pleasure. That is my hope, and that is His promise that He was, is, and will be faithful to.
WHAT IS
“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?”
So, via the Lord’s command, I will leave the past behind and march on to the hope that lies ahead, and embrace what He is doing now.
Right now seems pretty chaotic though. I’m trying to spend as much time as possible with loved ones. At the same time I am also trying to prepare spiritually, emotionally, and physically for training camp in August, and for the World Race as a whole (Only 3.5 months left until I leave). There is still so many things to get done (vaccinations, etc.), buy (gear, clothing, clothes line, pocket knife, ipad/laptop, etc.), and raising money (approximately $5,000-$6,000). However, the Lord has been so gracious, and has been so faithful to provide so far I know He will continue to do so.
I’ve also been considering what it means for me when I return from the World Race. I undoubtedly will finish my studies whether it be by commuting to campus or online; either way it seems that the Lord has closed the door on returning to Wake Forest. It also seems that He has closed the door on returning to the Charlotte area (where I went to undergrad, and where a lot of friends still are), as I would just be trying to relive the past.
So where am I considering? There is still a lot to pray through, and the Lord may even open up an option 3, 4, 5 or 6,000. But the two options I am looking at right now is moving to live with my dear friend Anna in Norfolk, VA or going to a Church Plant (out of my Imago Dei Church in Raleigh) to Utah with another family.
There is definitely a lot of change going on, and I feel as if this is not only a new chapter, but a new life. One of my friends has mentioned a book by Laura Story called “When God doesn’t fix it”, and I relate so much to the idea that it encompasses:
This is not just a detour that I’m on back to the original plan…
this is a whole new road.
Related Readings
Article: “When the Detour Becomes Your New Road”- Vaneetha Rendall Risner/Desiring God
https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/when-the-detour-becomes-your-new-road
Book: “When God Doesn’t Fix It” – Laura Story
Related Music
Your Promises –Elevation Worship
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9NkuQHUta4
Yes and Amen– Pat Barrett (Bethel Music)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkHo70DeiMM
Do it Again– Elevation Worship
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0B_lnQIITxU
