i’ve always done this thing where I skip ahead to the next chapter in life before I finish the one I’m in. The end of high school was filled with daydreams of the world race, watching Julia Robertsons vlogs and a count down till the day I left. In Botswana, I started looking at stuff online for a dorm room when I still had five months of the race left. But ever since I’ve been in the Philippines I’ve been trying my hardest to soak up and LIVE in every moment. To not let this little bit of the race left slip by. I’m scared I’m going to blink and it’ll all be over. And it honestly does feel like that. I have a month left & I feel like I left home last week.
I noticed that I’m still reaching for things right now that God has for me in the far, far future. I’ve still got this bad habit of longing for something that’s a “not yet”. Things that me in my flesh want now but make absolutely no sense to have in this season of life.
In Mark 11:12 Jesus was traveling from the city of Bethany and was really hungry. He saw a fig tree and went to it to see if he could find some fruit to eat. Verse 13, “When he came to it, he found nothing but leaves, for it was not fig season.”
This little story is so simple, but Jesus spoke volumes to me through it this morning.
Jesus was hungry.
I am hungry.
For something, something more, something I want but maybe know isn’t what’s best for me in this time. Something I desire to have so deeply, a hunger deep in my soul for this thing. Whatever it may be. Maybe for you it’s a certain job, a husband or wife, children, travel, you name it.
What Jesus is showing me through the fig tree is that even if I pursue whatever it is that I want in this moment and what I think may be best for me, it’s not going to bear fruit unless GOD has LEAD ME into that season. If I pursue something that God has for me in another season, I’m going to miss out on what’s right in front of my face. I’m going to miss out on the fruit God has for me in this season of life.
I am hungry.
for more.
more life.
Earlier this year my squad mentor, Kate, was praying for what the Lord had in store for me in this season of life.
She got “Psalm 34:To Taste & See That The Lord is Good”
As I’m sitting here, hungry for something more, I’m reminded of that. Tasting and Seeing. The Lord’s Goodness. He’s saying “Ah ah ah!!” As a mother would to their child when they’re doing something they’re not supposed to, maybe even shaking a finger at them. He’s saying “hold up. You’re hungry, but you are forgetting that I’m supposed to be what you’re tasting, I’m the goodness that should be satisfying your hunger. We’ve been on this journey for awhile now, and you can’t just skip ahead kid, you’re going to miss out on what I’ve got for you right here. If you skip ahead, you definitely won’t be ready for what’s up ahead without the works I’m going to do in you right here and now.”
In Verse 22-24 Jesus says “Have faith in God. Truly I say to you whoever says to this mountain, “Be taken up and thrown into the sea, ‘and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what He says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it and it will be yours.”
This is the tasting and seeing that the Lord is good.
This is believing.
This is giving the desires of my heart to Jesus, knowing that it’s not the season for the certain fruit I’m wanting, but trusting that he’ll make it happen when it needs to. It’s knowing that he’s going to take care of me and FILL me with some delicious strawberries in this season, and the blackberries will come later, in His timing. Surrendering, and living in His freedom.
Hebrews 12:1-2
“…let us run with endurance the race that is set before us looking to Jesus,”
Literally speaking, I’m finishing this world race, this race around the world Gods got me on, with endurance ONLY looking to Jesus!!!
A song that kinda goes along with this blog is “Seasons” By Hillsong Worships new album “There is More” Highly encourage you to give it a listen!
–Kaylin
