For the longest time I have felt led to share my testimony through my blog and through my words. Not many know how Jesus came to rule over my heart. Not many know how Jesus changed my life. So here goes nothing, here goes vulnerability.
I’m your classic gal who grew up in church, grew up with supportive loving parents, grew up learning about Jesus, and was apart of every church activity that went on, I was at every camp, and did all I could to serve in any way possible. But something was missing; I knew Jesus but didn’t have a deep relationship with him.
Lets go back in time a little bit…
Immature little freshman Kaylen was trying to find her place in this big High school, fell for an upper-class baseball player. She thought she had it going, she thought she was fitting in, he made her feel good, he said sweet things, but he had her under a spell; because he was also manipulative, controlling, finding any way he could to make her jealous. One day during a locker break, I was completely humiliated in front of the whole school, he came down to the common area yelling at me, punched the wall, and pushed me against the lockers. In this moment my world crashed, my heart had been broke for the first time. I was so lost, so confused, but God was at work.
A week or so after I went to my church’s youth camp and one of the speakers said something that stuck with me…
“When you give your heart to man he will use it against you, but when you give your heart to Jesus He never will.”
This boy had a small piece of my heart, and he used it against me. That night I surrendered that relationship and pain to God, that night I let God in as the King of My heart. I gave him the reigns, and that night my relationship with Jesus would forever be different.
It wasn’t until the middle of July at training camp that I realized what
“When you give your heart to man he will use it against you, but when you give your heart to Jesus He never will” meant to me now.
When the lyrics of King of My heart played,
Let the King of my heart
Be the mountain where I run
The fountain I drink from
Let the King of my heart
Be the shadow where I hide
The ransom for my life
Let the King of my heart
Be the wind inside my sails
The anchor in the waves
Let the King of my heart
Be the fire inside my veins
The echo of my days
Oh, He is my song
‘Cause You are good
You’re never gonna let me down
I sat down and began to write..
“When you put your faith and trust in worldly things such as social media, money, drugs, sex, relationships, pornography, attention, lust, any worldly desire, or temporary thing it will always fail and fall through, it will never be enough. But when you put your faith and trust in Jesus alone, He will always be good enough, He will never fail you, and He will always fill your desires and wants. Don’t put your worth in anything else. Find your worth in Him”
I realized that in this season of my life that the man in that statement wasn’t physically a man but anything from man, anything of the world. If we are giving ourselves to anything of the world other than Jesus it will never fill us up, it will never be good enough, and it wont last.
At the time I was mad at myself for falling for someone like that when I knew it wasn’t right, I was angry that God had put me through that. But now I am forever thankful for that relationship, it was a trial that Jesus put me through to learn and grow from. We all face trials, of different kinds, but its how we come out of that trial and how we go through it that matters. Trials are beautiful things, Jesus puts us through them to test our faith, help us to grow and learn, and to come out stronger than before.
Now, because of this trial I can minister to women who are going through bad relationships, who have been hurt, who are lost and angry, and give them advice and love. I can help them get through. Now, I can help middle and high school gals who are struggling to fit it, struggling to find their place, who are trying to fill their heart with everything else but the one who fills it FULL.
Now, I can share to the world that Jesus is so so sooo good, and He will never let you down, never. No matter how far you’ve ran, no matter what you’ve been filling yourself with, no matter what you’ve done, no matter what lies the enemy tells you, your Father is right there waiting for you, He wants to be the King of your heart. So why don’t you let Him. I promise you won’t regret it.
“The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one to save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love, He will exult over you with loud singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rules, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in ALL creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39
