Hi guys! I hope this blog finds each of you well. We’re about to head into our last week in Thailand, and it is crazy how fast this month has come and gone. There were moments in the beginning when I was pretty sure a month here might be eternity, but then, all of the sudden, we’re nearing the end. This past week has been pretty awesome, and I have had such a peace about where I am and what I’m doing. We have done a lot of cleaning (specifically scrubbing floors) this week, and we’ve also gotten time to play with toddlers and hold babies throughout each day as well. I have learned so much more about Agape House and what they are about, which makes the service we are doing for them a whole lot more meaningful. Most importantly though, I am learning so much more about God’s character. I feel like I am really beginning to grasp what Jesus did for me, and I am understanding more than ever before how much of a game changer that really is.
I really like analogies. God is so intentional, and aspects of his character are hidden throughout all of his creation. This week, I had a moment where I finally “got it”. I have always known that God is our Heavenly Father. I have been told that my entire life, and I would say that I’ve always believed that. I don’t know if I have ever grasped the gravity of that, though. As I was playing with the toddlers at Agape this week, a particular little boy helped me to see my God in a completely fresh way. When we go to hang out with these kids, we are just kinda thrown in the middle of them. Some kids are quick to come to you, while others are more shy and timid. One little boy immediately came up to me on the first day, and we played together for a while. The next day when I walked in, it took him a few minutes, but he smiled so big and ran up to me again. There were so many other people that he could have gone to, but it was the fact that he chose me out of everyone else that meant so much. I played with him for a while that day, and then out of nowhere he ran off and started playing with some of the other kids. I stood there and kept watching him from across the room. I was kind of bummed that the friend I had made randomly decided he wanted to go play with someone else and left me on the sidelines. I started thinking about how that relates to God. God calls me beloved, and when I choose Him, it brings him joy. He delights in me. I can’t imagine how much it breaks his heart when he watches us drift off, chasing after the shiny things that are begging for our attention. A lot of times, he lets us go. He stands there, never taking his eye off of us. He watches as we fall on our faces, but he lets us make the choice. He knows how much better He is than anything else we’re chasing, but there we are just aimlessly following lesser things. The little boy ended up coming back over to me a few minutes later, and we picked up where we left off. God is so gracious. He is so quick to reach out his hand and welcome us back. He does not hold it against us that we wandered away, but instead he rejoices in our pursuit of him again.
This thought has just kept coming back up this week. I am beginning to realize how amazing it is to be walking right next to my father. Choosing him because he is better than anything else I could ever choose, and simply enjoying his presence. Something about that little boy just made it click. When I am walking next to him, I don’t need to be concerned about where I am going or what else is going on around me. I am not steering. I am just following my dad around. My earthly dad is pretty spectacular. I would follow him anywhere because of the trust I have in him and his love for me. How much more does my Heavenly Father have my best in mind? He is such a good father, and I’ve sang those words a billion times, but I think I am really starting to uncover how true those words are.
This morning I went to a Thai and English church. During worship, the Holy Spirit brought James 1:27 to my mind:
“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.”
I’ve always interpreted this verse as visiting orphanages and older, single women. This morning was different though. I thought about all the people who don’t know about their Heavenly Father. There are orphans all over, searching for meaning everywhere and having no idea of the love that He offers. They are distressed, but so many of them don’t know what it is that they are desperately in need of. There are people like this all over Thailand and all over the world. I realized that these people we are called to visit are a whole lot easier to find than I had previously thought.
I’m thankful today for a God that never turns his back on me when I let go of his hand and wander off. I am thankful for a God who delights in me and wants me to walk beside him. I am thankful for a God who allows me to sit in his presence and just enjoy him for who he is. He is so so good, and I am excited about how much more there is to learn about his character by spending more time with him intimately. Oh, and a big plus: the more time I spend with him, the more like him I can become. Fruit grows when it is connected closely to the vine. That is just such a cool and exciting concept too. My song throughout this week has been “Nothing Else” by Cody Carnes, and if you haven’t heard it, I highly recommend listening to it! Thanks for keeping up with me and keeping me in your prayers. Next Sunday, we will be traveling to Cambodia, so if you think about me, prayers for safe travels would be greatly appreciated!
I’m caught up in your presence
I just wanna sit here at your feet
I’m caught up in this holy moment
I never wanna leave
