I have contemplated how to write this blog over the last 5 weeks and came up empty-handed each time. There are so many emotions tied in with this news that include but are not limited to heartbreak, excitement, grief, peace, freedom, severe FOMO, and contentment. The question of what could of been and the confidence of knowing ‘not right now.’ With that being said-
I am not launching on the World Race in August of 2021.
The initial shock of the decision has faded over the last month or so and the reality of ‘staying’ has set in. If I am honest, I feel more and more confident and at peace with each passing day that I made the best decision for me. But the question remains-why this decision?
When I applied to the route back in September of 2019 the season of life that I was in looked SO different than the one I am currently living out. I committed to the WR largely because of the financial, professional, and relational freedom I had at that time. My motivation behind going was rooted in gaining experience and exploring cross-cultural missions to later use as a launching pad into full time overseas ministry. COVID was not yet a thing, my parents were not full time caregivers for my grandparents at that time, and I was not yet dating my boyfriend, Chandler, back then either. Over the last 18 months everything has changed. Our world has been filled with unknown, questioning, division, injustice, and much more. Additionally, I’ve experience joy, freedom, peace, contentment, and hope like I’ve never known.
With all that has changed, I truly feel as if the Lord is asking me to ‘stay’ at this time. If you know me, you know how heartbreaking and difficult the idea of staying put is. I promise if this was not a word from the Lord I would still be going on the Race. Only the Lord can make me stay home from the excitement of traveling the world with Him. It is important to note that I still feel called to overseas ministry. I still feel called to go, but at this time the answer is “not right now.” I have spent numerous hours in prayer, seeking wise counsel, and sitting before the Lord in this. What He continues to remind me of is that I am free. Free to choose. Free from the opinion of man. Free from the self-proclaimed timeline I’ve set before myself. Free from judgement. Free to change. Simply free. So I am going to boldly and confidently walk in that freedom and rest knowing that the Lord is not done with me yet! My story may look different without the Race, but it is still good.
I wanted to extend my deepest gratitude to each and every one of you who has supported me financially, prayerfully, and otherwise. Thank you for loving me and loving the expansion of the Gospel even more. If you have any questions or want to hear more about how the Lord has called me to stay, PLEASE reach out to me. You can email me, text me, call me, send a carrier pigeon, whatever! I love you guys and I am so thankful we serve a God who allows for such freedom. Thank you JESUS!
