The one who kept her distance, who hid from us, who stayed away. The one who wouldn’t let us approach her, who played on her own, who was happy when we left every day. The one who had tears streaming down her face when we left for good.
The first day at Joyela there was this little girl with dust-covered clothes and big eyes standing by the building corner taking us all in. She didn’t come to investigate like the other kids, she kept a good distance as she watched us play and love on her sister and the other kids. Her name is Angie, we were told she was probably 3. She never let us see her smile. Sometimes we would sit with her and try to talk. She would look at us with her big brown eyes as she slowly grabbed her shoes and put them on one by one. Without breaking the stare, she would stand and walk around the corner, putting more distance between us.
As time went on, Angie would linger a little longer before she remembered that she didn’t want to be near us. The distance slowly shrunk, she would observe from a little closer than the time before. Every day we would smile, wave, and greet her by name. We wanted her to know that even if she stays away, we loved her so much and so did God.
Her sister, Nonhle loved all of us (especially Kaitlyn) so she encouraged Angie to play with us but she never listened at first. She would still shy away when we would approach her and try to hide herself when we dished food for her. She wasn’t ready to be loved yet.
Kaitlyn tried to get close to her almost every day and her persistence seemed to be paying off. Soon enough, we could see a change in the way she saw us. She didn’t seem as afraid. When we saw her sitting alone on the tires watching the other kids play and we sat next to her, she didn’t walk away, she didn’t turn the other direction, she let us be there with her. She slowly started to show us her precious little smile, she would wave to us, and maybe even give us a hug. She was starting to open her heart to us and we were there waiting to fill it with God’s love and so much overflowing joy.
As she got closer to us, so did the end of Swaziland for us. With only a few days left at Joyela, I walked into the building and found Angie there running around and laughing the most I’ve ever heard. Her laugh was full of little shrieks and her eyes with joy. This little girl who we thought would never smile was crying out with joy and happiness. She ran to my arms open and squeezed them around my legs giving me the biggest hug she could.
When our van came I knelt down next to her with my arms outstretched and she walked into them for a little goodbye hug. I gave her a little squeeze and then lifted her up from the ground holding her in my arms. I was holding Angie for the first time, little shy Angie was in my arms. The longer I held her, the bigger her smile seemed to get. Her little arms stretched around my body not quite meeting and she squeezed me as tight as she could. Angie opened up and let me love on her, I got to fill this little girl up with so much of the love that the Lord gave to me.
On the very last day with the kids, all of us were heartbroken. We gave all the kids big hugs and told them how much we love them and how much Jesus loves them. They all gave us the biggest hugs in return and said that they would miss us. Before I got on the bus I looked over at Angie. She was leaning against the building eyes wide open, a little frown on her face, and tears streaming down her face. We all gave her more hugs but that wasn’t going to change the fact that we would never see her again or that after so much work and loving on this little girl, we would have to leave and she would most likely start back at square one with the next team that she met. Our progress would be lost, Angie’s heart would close again, and she would feel the sadness of loss. I have to keep reminding myself that even though we are leaving, God is still with her always and Angie opening up to us was the Lord already working in her life. Every day I pray that with the next team, she’ll open up, she’ll show them her smile, let them hear her laugh, let them feel her arms around them, and let them love on her the way Jesus would. I pray that she gets everything she deserves in life and that even if she’s shy at first, I pray that she can open up much faster to them, that they can love on her for a lot longer.
At first she wasn’t ready for us to love on her, but by the end we could fill her with joy and hear her shrieks of laughter. The Lord put us at Joyela to meet her where she was at because He meets us where we are at. He smiles at us, He talks with us, and most importantly, He loves us even if we aren’t ready for it. He’s always there and all we have to do is start letting Him into our hearts.
Angie: the one who kept her distance, who stayed away, to the one who we filled with the Lords joy, who let us hold her, to the one who cried when we left, who walked next to the bus waving. Thank you God for Angie.
