I Will Wait On You

There are a few things I have been working through during and since I returned from training camp.

 

In some ways, I wish that I had the riveting experiences that my squad mates had last week.  There were a few times that I cried, but I wasn’t the one on the floor sobbing.  As I prayed for my friends who were, I began to hyper-analyze — is there something I’m missing?  Is there something I’m doing wrong?  I was reassured that it’s different for everyone.  Since I am an analytical introvert, I’m really not surprised that I just needed some good old fashioned “alone time” to align my heart.

 

On my trip home, while singing a new song we learned over and over in my head, I began asking why this song struck me so much.  When we learned the song — I Will Wait — I felt it resonate inside me, but I couldn’t figure out why.  The rest of the week, I mostly forgot about it and continued to sing with the same fervor as the first time.

 

I started processing and asked God, “What is it I’m still ‘waiting for’?”

 

I had been praying for and waiting on a new job opportunity for a bit.  Much to my horror, the answer was always, “Wait” or “Not now.”  Looking back, I can clearly see the road He was taking me on.  All of this build up, just to see that He had something like the World Race planned for me!  How amazing is that?  I definitely never dreamed that it would be my future.  All of “my plans” seem somewhat mediocre now–could I have not dreamed a little bigger?  Really, now…

 

So now that waiting for my next “job” has come to an end and I can just look forward to each month’s new project, what else am I still waiting for?

 

 

 

For years I have wanted and dreamed of being a wife.  I prayed selfishly for a husband.  Then I tried praying for myself.  I prayed that I would be the woman the man I’m looking for is looking for.  You know, once you start praying the right prayers God is more than excited to start answering them.  I started realizing the places in my life I needed to change.  I already knew I couldn’t be a broken person before I entered into a marriage, but there was still fine-tuning that needed to be done.

 

I also started praying for my husband.

 

It’s funny how many people lately have asked if I am dating anyone or if I will be dating anyone, when it’s compared to the last 4½ years I have been single and I’ve barely been asked the question.  I’m not sure if it’s because I’ll be turning 28 in the first few months of the race, and with the whole dating and then the wedding thing, people are wondering if I’ll be married by the time I’m 30.  Or maybe it is just a general concern for me?  I have no idea.

 

Adventures in Missions strongly suggest not starting any relationships before you launch on the field.  It was even one of the interview questions–actually, I think it was something that you had to state you would not do (since I was already single).  They also have a no-dating policy while you’re on the Race.  No dating squad mates, no dating locals.

 

Seems easy enough.  The Race was not made for dating.  While, sure, you can find out a lot about living with people for 11 months, and since it’s heavy on the women participants, you can bet those men will be one lucky of a catch for a lady.  But not now.

 

I am not currently dating anyone, and nor I plan to before launch or while I’m on the field. A good reminder I heard at training camp:  God knows the Race is 11 months long.  I know God called me to the Race, and he called me to be intentional (and single) for those 11 months.  

 

I will continue to pray for growth for myself and that I’ll be ready when that time comes–that I will become the woman, wife, mother God has created me to be.  And for my future husband, that he will continue to grow in Christ–that he can become the man, husband, father God has created him to be. I will pray and I will wait, because if I can learn anything from experience, God’s plans are so much greater than my own, and I should dream a little bit bigger.  So for now,