“Blessed be the God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 ESV.
I’ve officially been on the race for over 2 weeks now, and honestly it’s been really hard. I knew walking into this it would be difficult, but I didn’t expect it to be this hard, and for it to happen so soon. I am so uncomfortable…
Living situation: Me and my team are living in a 200 square foot apartment. There are 7 of us total. Yep, you read that right 7 of us living in a 200 square foot apartment. It’s safe to say we have become close quickly. In fact, there are 5 tents pitched in this apartment. Mikayla and Rachel are sharing a 2 person tent in a room, Michael and Cameron are sharing a 2 person tent in the kitchen, My 1.5 person tent is set up in one corner of of the living room, Crystal’s 1 person tent is lying right beside mine, and Matt is set up in another bedroom. I know what you’re thinking, there’s no way this place is only 200 square feet if they have 5 tents pitched, no guys I’m serious, it’s tiny. You’re probably wondering why we are sleeping in tents? Well, for one, there is absolutely no furniture, none. Nada. We literally only have a propane tank connected to a tiny stove top, and something a little bigger than a mini fridge. That’s it. We didn’t even have a trash can. Two, we have some uninvited visitors who have taken up residence rent free. Within 48 hours of being in Panama we had to kill 6 roaches, we meaning, Cameron killed 6 roaches. There are also thousands of ants, and Geico’s, so we decided that the tent life is the best life for all of us this month. Day 1 our toilet decided it didn’t want to flush. First of all, this toilets plumbing was set up completely wrong. The bowl didn’t have any water in it. When you would flush the bowl would then fill up and the tank would empty, bizarre. Anyway, one of my teammates had to take care of some business, and when he finished, to his surprise it wouldn’t flush. He tried everything, eventually he said forget it and went in after his own poop with his bare hands. You guys I’m not kidding. He said he didn’t want us to have deal with that first off so he did it for the team. God bless him. Day 2 we found a mini lake in Cameron and Michaels room; the kitchen. The kitchen sink has a leak. Day 3 we came home to literally thousands of ants. Someone dropped a crumb and all of the ants of panama came to feast. We now have to sweep 4-6 times a day to make sure that doesn’t happen again. Day 4 my sleeping pad decided to spring a leak. I went to bed on my sleeping pad and woke up on the floor. The hole is so small, I literally can’t find it. I am currently sleeping in my tent on the tile floor on top of my sleeping bag. Water will stop working at any given time, the electricity will just randomly shut off and be off anywhere from 2 minutes to 8 hours, oh and our shower no longer wants to drain. Thank goodness for the church we are also serving at, they have been gracious to let us walk 50 yards to use their toilets and showers. We sit down for all meals on the floor with whatever we’re eating in the middle of us and our knees literally touching. I can’t make this stuff up. I have been hit so hard with culture shock….I am so uncomfortable….
Ministry: Manual labor is our ministry this month. In my last blog I mentioned that we are working with a ministry called Beyond Aviation. Ethan, our ministry host is a pilot who flies into indigenous villages all around Panama spreading the good news. He recently purchased 23 acres of land where he has plans to build a landing strip for his plane, a church, and a house. During our month here we will be helping him clear out his property in preparation to break ground for these projects. Monday-Thursday from 7am-noon we are out on the property cutting trees, and dragging brush through 2 feet of mud, water, and cow manure to piles for him to burn in May when everything is dry. While working we have come across some of the most dangerous animals in Latin America and the Western Hemisphere. I am not a fan of bugs and never will be, but the puss caterpillar is probably one of the most beautiful things I’ve seen outside of a butterfly. The puss caterpillar is the most dangerous caterpillar in the world. It’s said that if even the smallest hair from them touches your skin, it can leave you extremely ill in a hospital for up to 50 days and may even be fatal. We have been in very close contact with over a dozen of them so far. I have seen them almost daily. The most dangerous snake in the Western Hemisphere was killed on Ethan’s property just last week. This snake’s Venom is so powerful that after being bitten by it you may only get 3 steps away and die. It sends you straight into cardiac arrest. I have a picture with this snake and I even touched it. What in the world??? Why am I here??? I am so uncomfortable….
Over 20 days ago I walked away from everything “comfortable” to me. My family, friends, my church family, my bed, etc to journey with God for this next year, and oh my goodness has it been uncomfortable. I’ve been faced with every emotion under the sun, paralyzing fear, culture shock, spiritual warfare, and homesickness. If I’m being completely honest, which I always want to be, this has sucked. I’ve cried more than I’ve smiled, I’ve even began to question why I’m even on the world race. But through it all God has been here. He has taught me what it looks like to find comfort in Him. Sure, my family and friends know me, they are familiar, my bed is so soft and it’s comfortable, but God is really wanting me to understand what true comfort is and where it comes from, and that’s Him. I’ve learned how to just sit in my feelings and feel them, and then take them to God. I’ve learned how to replace fear with His word, and most importantly I’m learning how to rely solely on Him for comfort in the midst of my discomfort. While this has been an extremely hard couple of weeks it’s been so sweet spending much needed intimate time with the Lord. He’s there in my sufferings and he’s there in my comfort. I am so very thankful to know I’m NEVER alone.
Thanks so much for your prayers. They mean more than you will ever know.
Much love,
Kayla
