Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your kingdoms cause
As I go from earth into Eternity
The last couple of days, my team had the opportunity to go out and do some fun adventures!
Friday morning we went to the local dump to pass out food to the families there.
Friday evening, we went to some Mayan ruins! That was a lot of fun and a great time to just hang out as a team.
Yesterday we met up with some of the other teams and went to Panjachel to go on the zip lines. Talk about fun! We got to go across 8 different areas and all of them had a beautiful view of the lake and mountains.
This is me…
Two days of fun, adventure, and great times with my team!
And then… God breaks my heart…
When the van from our ministry pulled up to pick us up, five of the boys from the home were inside. As we are
driving home, one of them goes to the van door, slides open and window, and stands there gazing out the whole way home. I don’t know why this grabbed my attention, but as I sat there watching him, I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking about. I only know a small portion of this young boy’s story, but what I do know breaks my heart. I sat for a big portion of the ride just watching him looking out that open window into the darkness of the Guatemalan night.
Then today in church, I was sitting behind one of the precious girls. She is one of the older girls here. We don’t really see her smile as often as I wish we would… although the longer we are here, the more smiles I have seen as she has begun to get to know us better. She is such a pretty girl and fun to be around. But she is angry and has such poor self-esteem… but who wouldn’t be that way when you have some family members nearby who you want to be with, but yet you are here feeling unwanted. Breaks my heart.
When coming on this trip, I asked God to break my heart for what breaks his…. And He is. I cannot imagine what it is like for these kids to not have their family to love on them. All of their stories are different… all of them make me mad… all of them break my heart.
On the drive home from church today, I am the one gazing out the window into the beautiful scenery of the mountains of Guatemala. And as I watch the world go by, I question myself. Why am I here? I mean I know why I am here… I know why I came on this trip… But, what is my purpose? What will I do after this trip? The reality of this world is sad. And for some reason, it is hitting me so hard right now.
As I look out this window today, fighting the tears of brokenness, God is breaking my heart for what breaks His. I am only a little over half way done with month one and I am already wondering… Where will I go from here?
