Well the summer is over, and I am leaving home tomorrow morning for the official beginning of The World Race. So much has happened – and so much that is personal – that it is incredibly difficult for me to figure out how to concisely summarize what I have experienced God doing in my life.
I have had such a number of incredible lessons this summer, and when I went into the summer praying that God would help me to grow in preparation for this mission, I was not expecting this. I want to share some with you.
First of all, have you ever noticed how God speaks to everyone differently, such as through other people or through music? God is so personal. For example, I hear God most clearly when I am alone and either praying or reading, and I have experienced Him speaking a lot this summer.
Lesson: God’s presence in our lives has nothing to do with how we feel.
It’s easy to assume that the Holy Spirit is most present when the worship band’s synthesizer is giving you goosebumps and the words are pulling heart-wrenching remorse and enthusiastic praise from out of your veins. Or when you are surrounded by strong fellowship and need only turn to the nearest friend to be encouraged to climb higher. Or when you feel so absolutely IN LOVE with Christ that you need only open your Bible and you want to praise Him.
So then where is God when you feel empty? When the music has stopped and your friends are far away or you feel as though they have left you entirely? When you feel angry at God, and you don’t understand why He is working the way that He is? When all of the feelings that you are used to attributing to your relationship with God and the Holy Spirit within you are gone, where do you find Him?
Personally, I believe that that is WHEN you find Him. I think that is when you begin to know and understand a God that is ALWAYS there, and whose presence is (praise God!) not at all contingent upon our focus or emotions. In fact, not only is God present in all we are feeling, but he wants us to turn to Him in all we are feeling, whether emptiness, tears, or the greatest happiness.
I hit that place this summer, and it wasn’t until I finally broke down that God showed me how wrong I was, and I realized how present He was. Since then I’ve been in a lot of places, particularly at training camp, which are inspiring and fantastic at creating spiritual highs, but I am so grateful that my God is developing in me a faith in Him that is a solid rock. Even when things get hard (which I am sure they will over this next year) my feet will be on firm ground, He will be in me and with me, and I will know this constantly. I may feel empty, but I am never empty. I am never without my God.
God continued to work in me (and, I am sure, my fellow racers as well) at training camp. I could say a lot about training camp. We learned, among other things:
what it is like to sleep on an overcrowded bus
what it is like to take cold bucket showers every day
what it is like to eat lentils with our hands
what it is like to be in a marketplace (sort of)
what it is like to eat a lot of other things with our hands
and much more!
However, God continued to teach me in His own personal ways.
Lesson: The power of the Holy Spirit is real today, but first you must love.
Training camp taught us about the active power of the Holy Spirit. We are going overseas, where we will experience healings, prophecy, and other activities of God that we don’t see so much here in the developed world. I’m pretty sure all of us must have become almost overwhelmingly excited at the growing understanding of how God works through us. However, in praying to God about my desire to experience this, God made something very clear, which is the lesson written in convenient bold type above. Essentially, who cares if you are speaking in tongues if you are not a light to others by walking in God’s footsteps and in His love? In fact, are you a light at all? Also, while manifestations of the Spirit seem pretty cool, and some would even go so far as to say you do not have a true relationship with God if you are not experiencing them (I don’t believe this), what is most important?
Can you experience the power of the Holy Spirit and forget all about being loving or Christlike at all? I believe, yes.
But, that much quoted, much appreciated, much memorized chapter that is 1 Corinthians 13 is so clear that it is incredibly easy to not give it the amount of thought that actually leads to complete understanding. Know what I mean? For example, I’ve read this chapter tons of times, but I only truly got it recently. It is surprisingly easy to forget what is most important in witnessing to others. It’s not gifts of the Spirit. It’s simply a love like God’s. I believe a person who walks firmly in love does more for God’s kingdom than someone who speaks in tongues, prophecies, heals, teaches, etc, but “has not love”. In fact, it’s pretty much in the Bible.
So, let me explain how this is relevant by opening up a bit. I don’t feel like a very loving person. I certainly love people. And I love deeply. But to have God’s love for everyone? To even attempt to have God’s love for everyone? I would rather not. It’s much easier to remain distant and apathetic than to invest my heart, time, and labor into the lives of all those around me. Also, on a daily basis, it’s much easier to remain crabby and aloof. But I feel that God is calling me to a deeper relationship with Him by learning to love as He loves, so I canwholly experience more of the Holy Spirit. Maybe the path God’s calling you on looks similar. I kind of hope so, because I think it’s a good one. But I’m biased.
This is a long blog. But – the good news is, they might stay this long! (Sorry blogging tutorial, I guess I don’t always do short, snappy paragraphs. Or ever.)
Why? Because…we are leaving for more training tomorrow, and then for our first country!!!!
Pray for my squad, many of whom still need a lot of funding. Pray for my team (Magnetic Light), who I will spend the year with – Grace, Jenna, Ethan, Adam, and Ryan. And please pray that God uses our time overseas in tremendous ways. Pray for our families, since we will be away from each other for a year.
Love you!
