So, it was my last high school summer. I was at Falls Creek with the church I was going to at the time, First Baptist Church of Choctaw. And the theme for the week was “GO!” It was my second summer in a row to attend Falls Creek and I absolutely loved it. There were tons of people my age, awesome praise and worship each day, intimate moments with the Lord thru reading his word and prayer, great speakers, snow cone dates, just a really great time! Well, by the end of the week I took hold of what God had been speaking to me. He wanted me to GO! He was calling me into ministry and more specifically, missions overseas.
When I came home, I told my mom I needed to tell her what God had been speaking to my heart all week. I said, “Mom, this week as I was praying and reading I felt like I heard from God. I think He wants me to be a missionary.” She replied with, “Okay.” Not that I expected a big dramatic reaction but I thought she would have a little more to say, ya know? But her expression showed little to no surprise or shock. I could tell her mind was working but all she could say was, “okay.”
To be completely honest, I was terrified of what God wanted me to do. About 3 years after that summer at Falls Creek, I turned away from God. I began to live my life however I wanted. I made excuses for everything I did. Besides my job, I had no responsibilities… I had no plan, no future, no purpose. One day I asked myself, what am I doing with my life?? I had plenty of friends but I still felt so alone inside. An integral part of me was missing.
I decided I didn’t want my life anymore, I didn’t want the empty, meaningless, habitual day of waking up at 1:00 with a hangover and then laying around til 3:00 so i could be at work by 4:30, getting off by 10:30 and staying up til 3:00 drinking and partying. So after 3 years I stopped and one day I prayed. I said, “God, I’ve been running away from you and I’m sorry. I need you in my life because without you I’m lost. You are the only one who gives me purpose. And I’m done trying to live my life without you.” Tears are streaming down my face as I type this remember the place I was in that day. After I finished praying I knew things had to change. I began reading the bible more than I had in years and I started going to church again.
About 6 months later I was praying one morning and I asked God what he wanted me to do with my life. I opened my bible and it opened to Matthew 28. In verses 19 and 20 I read: “Kayla, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And Kayla, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”
That week at Falls Creek I had written my name in those two places of the scripture. God knew the choices I would make, and He also knew that I would come back to him and that one day He would show me again what plans He has for me.
