One of my squad mates challenged us all to pick one word for
the year 2012. My word is sacrifice. I feel like this is going to be the year
of my life where I learn the true meaning of that word. As a Christian we learn
about how Jesus sacrificed His life on the cross for our sins. He was the
ultimate sacrifice so that we have freedom from sin and we can have an abundant
life in close relationship with God.
As I think more and more about July and getting on the plane
to travel to different parts of this world I get a whirl wind of emotion.
Honestly, I’ve never been the best traveler. I have a pretty rough case of
motion sickness; let’s just say you’ll never hear about me going on a cruise
ship. So I’m nervous about all the flying and driving, especially after reading
current racers blogs and seeing pictures of 16 people in 8 passenger vans.
Also, I have never been away from my family and some of my
best friends for more than maybe a month. I’m very close with my sisters and my
parents. And in November I moved back home to save money for the trip so I’m
back to seeing them everyday. I’m really going to miss that. Also, my nephew
Kylin is like a ray of sunshine in my life. Every morning he comes to my door
and wants to open it to come in and see if I’m awake yet. I’ll miss my morning
wake up call more than I probably realize right now.
Another thing, I have had a hard time figuring out a plan
for my life. I’ve been working at my job for two years now and last month my
Manager asked me to step into a higher position of responsibility. He wanted to
train me in management responsibilities. Because I’m leaving for a year, I
turned it down.
I graduate in May with my degree in Finance with a minor in
Real Estate. Am I going to be able to get a job when I get back? After being
gone for a year not studying business or working who is going to want to higher
me. I’m feeling a sense of doubt and some anxiety. All of my thoughts and plans
consist of things for the race, should I be thinking and planning for what
happens when I get home?
I’m excited about going, don’t get me wrong, but I’m also scared.
I’m nervous. I’m insecure.
Lord, help me to learn to trust you completely. You
sacrificed your Son so that I can have life. Now I want to sacrifice my life
for your will, to spread your love, and further your kingdom. Remove from me my
fears, my anxieties, and my selfish thoughts. I pray for constant reminders
that YOU are the giver of all good things. Help me to grow in my faith and to
be bold as I leave my life behind to follow your will. Help me to be an
encouragement to my teammates and to lift them up when they need inspiration.
Teach me what it truly means to sacrifice.
