“This is my prayer in the desert
When all that’s within me feels dry”
This last year has been a tougher year for me. I was fresh out of college and starting my career in the working world. Some of my best friends had moved away. The campus I had lived on for 4 years was no longer my home. I didn’t know Nashville without Lipscomb.
Not only was I going through the transition out of college, but I was also in a hard spot in my faith. I felt as if I was trying to spend time with God and be close to Him, but despite my efforts, it seemed fleeting. The worst part was, this wasn’t for just a couple weeks; instead it was months upon months. I would have moments where God would shine through, but more often than not He seemed silent. This long of a “dry” period had never happened to me before. I would cry out to God for Him to show up, but He seemed to be so far (key word: seemed).
I got to have dinner with one of my good friends and mentors at a summer camp I attended last year. She spoke some scripture into my life that I would need to cling on to in the following year:
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when ever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything“
I was encouraged to lean into the process of growth. This was a phrase I had heard many times through out my time interning; however, it takes on a whole new meaning when the process is staring you right in the face. I had a choice to make in how I was going to respond. Our natural instinct as humans: fight or flight. It would have been easy to throw up my hands in that moment because nothing I was trying seemed to work. I was scared and felt alone. But instead, I chose to fight. Fight for my faith. Fight to not lose hope. Fight for the One who fought for me. From His track record, I knew He would come through, no matter how long it took. And I’m so glad God gave me the strength and the grace to do so.
“This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame”
One thing over the last year that He spoke into me is that “I am coming“. No matter how long we have to wait for God to show up in our lives, He is coming. He is not just coming, but also coming in His perfect timing. Lean into the process. Allow moments of feeling alone and the testing of your faith to drive you deeper into His heart and the pursuit after Him. Perseverance needs to finish it’s work so we can be whole. Allow Him to refine you through the flame, because trust me, it is worth it.
Lyrics from “Desert Song” by Hillsong United
