Most of my life has been lived with the knowledge that God is in my corner. No matter what punches the world throws at me, I know I can face them because God is on my side. And when God is on your side, you cannot fail.
But what happens when the one you’re angry at is God? Instead of throwing punches at the world with God in your corner cheering you on, you turn around and face him in the ring, boxing gloves up. He takes a step towards you, arms open for an embrace, but you step back in defense.
What happens when you feel like He’s left your corner? When you’re throwing blind punches because you can’t see what your really fighting. When everything around you has gone dark. You can’t see the light. You can’t see the truth.
These are the moments that shake your faith to the core of itself. The one constant you could count on seems to have moved. You feel let down, forgotten, abandoned, confused, and not comforted from the one person who can bring true and lasting love, purpose, understanding, contentment, and peace.
It feels raw.
Vulnerable.
Uncomfortable.
Crushing.
What do you do now?
I think there are many answers to this question, some that sound “prettier” or “holier” than others. But for those who feel like your anger isn’t pretty, here is a messy option for you.
You swing.
You swing hard.
Because when you’re swinging, it means that you’re still in the ring.
Still fighting.
You’re never gonna hit God with a blow He isn’t expecting, if you can even really hit Him with a blow at all. He already knows your anger. He knows your pain. He knows what it feels like to seemingly be abandoned by the Father, hence why He uttered the words “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?”
But as much as we fight, God always fights harder.
When we’ve yelled, kicked, and screamed all we can, falling exhausted on the floor, that is where God meets us.
I will fight for you, you need only to be still
I used to think God would be disappointed in me if I ever expressed my frustration towards Him. He would be disappointed with my “lack of faith”. But coming to Him with all of our emotions shows our trust in Him. He is not flustered by your questions and frustrations. He already knows all of your feelings before you even speak them. When you bring your anger to Him, you are acknowledging that He is in control, even if you don’t like His choice. And I believe He is pleased with that level of trust.
So stay in the ring.
Fight like hell.
And allow Him to show you He’s fighting too.
He’s fighting for YOU.
He will NEVER stop fighting for you.
Ever.
Do you believe that?
Because when you do, it changes everything.
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”
??2 Timothy? ?4:7? ?ESV??
