Journal entry February 2, 2014
“I feel as if all the Ethos sermons I have been hearing lately have been calling me to something higher, something deeper. I have this innate craving to follow God on some crazy adventure. For some reason the World Race keeps popping into my head. I laid out my ‘dry fleece’, saying if someone contacts me from the World Race, I will seriously look into the possibility of going. Here we go.”
The week after I prayed that prayer will forever be engraved in my heart with how powerfully God showed up. I didn’t get reached out to from the World Race, but I didn’t need to because God himself reached out and grabbed my heart. Within the next 24 hours after praying that prayer, God consumed my heart with a desire to go on the World Race. All I wanted to do was read blogs and watch videos about what Racers were currently doing on the field. I would have to make myself study, telling myself that my study break could be more World Race blogs. I was sold.
Through this time period, I heard the Lord speaking into me the phrase “Deeper waters”. He was saying, “Step out into deeper waters. Step out into more with me. I will not let you sink if you get out of the boat. Don’t live in the shallow end of life. I got you—come out into the deep” I have to cling to this truth and this promise, that by stepping out into the deep, He will never let me sink.
I specifically remember a moment in High School, during a night of prayer and worship with my youth group, having this conversation with God: “God, please call me to something. I love youth ministry, call my to youth ministry!Call me to whatever you want in my life God! But please, don’t call me to be an over-seas missionary. I don’t want to leave home for that long. But call me to anything else!” I think God really loves irony, because look where I am today: leaving home, saying goodbye to friends and family, and going for almost a year over seas as a missionary.
Through this journey I see the complete Sovereignty of God. If He had told me in High School I was going to do this, I think I would have ran in the opposite direction. Instead, God knew my heart and started a work in me. He took me in little steps of faith and grew my heart for missions along the way. He gave me opportunities to step out in faith and be a summer youth intern. He gave me a growing heart for serving others. He gave me a desire to do something bigger with my life for the Kingdom. And THEN He told me about the World Race. God has proved himself faithful to me all along, so why wouldn’t I say yes? I cannot wait to see what saying ‘yes’ to this opportunity will bring. I know it won’t always be easy, but saying yes to God is always worth it. 🙂
