There are things that happen where the only explination we have is T.I.A. (this is Africa). Here are a few examples…
A – African Dancing — This is NOTHING you have ever seen before. It envolves pelvic thrusting, hands & knees, and running back & forth.
B – Bus Rides — However long they tell you the bus ride will be, always add 5+ hours.
C – Crying Kids — Most African kids cried when they saw us; mostly because we are white and some just for the fun of it. Our team record is 60+
D – Driving Laws — There are no driving "laws"… just one law: who dares wins.
E – Extreme Sports – Uganda has a place called Adrift Adventures in Jinja where you can raft/Bunjee The Nile River.
F – Food — They make you eat and eat and eat and eat all of the massive amounts of food they make; "ten more…"
G – Ground nuts — These are not peanuts and can be used as a gravy.
H – Hygene (or lack thereof) — we have taken every kind of shower you can think of: bucket shower, western shower, rain/hail shower, hot shower, cold showe, no shower.
I – Ice — Does not exhist in Africa unless it falls from the sky.
J – Jam — Jam can be added to anything to make it a dessert. Even Ugali.
K – Killing animals — There is not a meat section at your local store. So, if you want meat in your daily diet… you have to kill it.
L – Language Barrier — This is sometimes a problem even with translator. Most people just smile and nod.
M – Mzungu — This is a Swahili term for 'white person' and everyone and their momma will call you this (literally). The thing is you never really get used to this term,
it just becomes more and more annoying.
N – No Personal Space — People in Africa do not believe in this little piece of heaven on earth. Actually the rest of the world does not either…
O – Off — You will not survive in Africa with out it.
P – Preaching — Totally. Different. Most Africans speak in such a small whisper you reallyt hvae no idea what they are saying but give them a crowd of peple and a microphone and they will make sure everyone in town hears the gospel.
Q – Quantity Control — Does not exist in vehicles. The more people the more money.
R – Riding the Bus with Chickens — This happens more than you would think. I once sat by a little boy who had three, yes three, chickens tied together in his lap.
S – Soy Tu Dueña — This is a Mexican soap opera that all Kenyans love.
T – Transportation — Bota bota, tiki tiki, matatu, piki piki (they like to say things twice).
U – Ugali — The staple food of Kenya. Made of crushed corn and has the texture/consistancy of play-doh.
V – Visitors — There were times when we would come home and find random people in our house. They came to see us. We were their visitor and they were ours no matter how random and unexpected it was.
W – Water Shortages – This is a daily occurance and usually happens in the middle of a shower.
X – Xylophone — They don't actually have one but they do like the setting on the keyboards…
Y – Yesu — This is the swahili word for Jesus. It might sound like they are saying "yes you" but trust me they aren't talking about you…
Z – Zed — East Africans do not pronounce Z as 'zee' but 'zed' and they say we need english lessons...
