…I Almost Became A Mother Today…

I almost became a mother today. Not the "I'll babysit and we can pretend" type of mother. Not the "I'll tote my dog around and pretend he's real" mother. I almost became a mother. A real mother. A mother who provides physical needs, emotional support, adequate education, encouragement, and an upbringing in a home of unconditional love that points to Christ. I almost became a mother today. And honestly, if I could of, I would have a daughter in my arms right now. But I can't… because Swaziland's borders are closed for adoptions to Americans… because one American woman decided to "adopt" Swazi children and instead traffic them. So I sit here with spit up on my only "clean" shirt, heartbroken for my sweet little girl.

I have never felt so many eyes on me before. The type of staring that is so intentional that there is no need to look away when your eyes meet. Did I just pick up someone's baby? Am I offending them? Do they think that I'm some arrogant white girl coming in to fix all of their problems? Am I unwelcome here? It didn't matter. I refused to set her down. I cannot stand when a child cries seeking comfort and is consistently ignored. It may only be one fit, but one touch of love is enough for me.
A nurse passed by and I stopped her to inquire whether this was someone in the room's child. She only said one word: "Abandoned." I couldn't believe it. I just stared at Kayla. No IVs in her body, no scabies, not quarantined room for TB, no chart with treatment.Nothing. Someone had abandoned this perfect gift. I stopped her again, "What is her name?" And so nonchalantly, the answer: She doesn't have one. I couldn't believe it. I looked Kayla in the eyes and told her I would take this baby home if they let me. She looked straight back at me, in full faith that I was ready to become that child's mother.
You see, I had no doubts because I am confident that God will provide. I have no job, no savings account, not much of anything honestly, but I knew that God could provide me with everything that I needed- a job with a daycare, a crib, a truckload of diapers, and the list goes on and on. God always provides for His people. He may not give extra, but He gives exactly what you need- remember manna? And the whole lilies of the field talk in Matthew 6… Jesus says that you will have all that you need if you seek God's kingdom and His righteousness. I would say that making my life uncomfortable for an precious five month old orphan fits the bill.
I asked the nurse if there was a hospital social worker. I even went to find her office. But I resisted walking in because I knew the response- I'm American. I would have to leave without her. But I did leave her with something: A name. Mercy.
You see, I believe that God does not just tell us that we should love the poor, it's a requirement. James warns that it is not just enough to be a hearer of the Word, you have to be a doer also. I fear the Lord so I take this very seriously, and I know that seeing an abandoned baby and turning away is not enough.When we see the poor, lonely, the least of these, it is not enough to just wave and smile and pray that someone helps them. I'm someone. You're someone. We are the church. And we need to do something. I'm tired of seeing begging naked babies, abandoned children, and five year olds raising their younger siblings. I don't have all the answers, but we need to do something. The answer to the orphan problem in our world is the church body, not because we can do something about it, but because we are required to.