Ministry Update: We have partnered with Flaming Sword Ministries in Kadoma, Zimbabwe. During the week, we evangelize to surrounding villages, speak in local highschools, teach children’s church, lead Bible study for college-students, and preach Sunday mornings.
Last Wednesday, I woke up from my hammock with an ache in my heart. I started crying, for what initially seemed like no reason at all. All of a sudden, I went from steady tears to full-out ugly sobbing. I had no words for what I was experiencing. I tried to articulate words and found myself crying out in the midst of tears: “God, I have to be with You.”
I was gripped with a desperation to be in His Presence.
We were scheduled to go into a neighboring village to continue with door-to-door evangelism that day, but something inside me didn’t feel right about going to ministry.
I told my teammates and informed our ministry host of the situation. I asked if I could stay in the van to pray while they went out into the village. He said yes.
After a long, bumpy ride over dirt-roads with countless potholes, we finally made it to the ministry site. I sat in the backseat crammed with 3 other teammates trying to hold back my sobbing to no avail just anxiously waiting for everyone to exit the 15 passenger van.
I feel absolutely crazy. What is going on with me?!
As the last person exited the van, I unleashed the floodgates. Words didn’t come to mind, only deep sobbing. I pulled my iPhone from my backpack to put on some worship music.
“To worship You, I live.
To worship You, I live.
I live to worship You.”
I continued to get lost in the truth of the lyrics.
“Away, away, from the noise.
Alone with You.
Nothing else matters.”
The Lord brought to my mind Psalm 84:2.
“My soul longs, yes, even faints for the courts of the Lord.”
Everything started to make sense.
My heart was gripped with lovesickness, a desperation to sit at His feet, gaze at His beauty, and simply to love on Him. He reminded me of Mary and Martha from the New Testament, and how Mary sat at His feet, while Martha was busy cleaning the house, doing “important” things.
I’m not in love with the work or the ministry… these are all good things, but most of all, I love Jesus. My first priority, first and foremost, is loving Him and being loved by Him.
I couldn’t continue with “ministry as usual” when I knew He was drawing me to the Secret Place.
I sat in the van for 7 hours, in the hot Africa sun, no air-conditioning, with the windows cracked… and had one of the most incredible experiences with the Lord I’ve ever had.
I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be… with Him.
The next day, I was fueled with fresh fire, ready to minister to the people of Zimbabwe! The best part about it: He was with me, and He was leading me.
There’s a craving He ignites in your heart for MORE of Him that will devastate you until you get it. The Psalms speak of this love that’s so fierce and intense that it will ruin you to anything else once you get a taste of it. You’ll get addicted.
My friends, taste and see that He is good. SO good.
