First off, I know I have some updating to do. A lot has happened in the past two months and I’m embarrassed to say that I haven’t been writing like I should or want to. But I promise that I will fill you in on what has happened between now and my last post. Right now, this is what has been on my heart for a while and I wanted to get it out.
I traveled home for the holidays. I went from the warm weather in Georgia to the tundras of Northern Maine. Saying that my body went into shock might be an exaggeration, but it gets my point across. My time home was fun. I enjoyed getting to see my friends and family, so it was worth facing that bitter cold. Having time off from work and training was also very nice. It gave me a chance to relax and I was able to reflect on something that has been bothering me for a while.
Over the past month or so, I have noticed how much time people spend on their phones, myself included. Smart phones have everything now a days with texting, email, social media, and even the rare phone call. GPS and google search engines are also available in a matter of seconds. Everything I could possibly need is right at my fingertips. But I’m beginning to wonder, is it too convenient? Is it helpful or has it become a distraction?
I first noticed the amount of cell phone usage during a hang out with some friends. Everyone was chatting and having a blast when one person pulled out their phone to check something. Suddenly, phones were out all around as if a silent alarm went off. We went from conversation to staring at our phones in silence. It dawned on me later and since then I have tried to observe other interactions. I’ve been people watching.
And what I have seen demonstrated so many times, is that people meet to spend the time staring at their phones. Comments of Facebook status’, snap chat videos, and Instagram pictures fill the air. It doesn’t make sense. Yes, you are spending time with someone and you’re connected to others via the internet, but are you really present? Are you really getting to know them or inviting them to know you, all through cyber networking?
I actually became aware of my own obsession while curled up with a blanket in the recliner in our living room. I was watching TV when I realized I was on my phone. Again. Scrolling through mindless things on Facebook, checking my Instagram for the hundredth time that hour, concerned that I might miss something. I noticed how frequently I checked it and even attempted to shut my phone off for the rest of the day…… it lasted 30 minutes. Why is it that I can’t go all day without checking my phone? “Well, I want to stay connected to people. I want to see what they’re up to.” This is a true statement and it could be justified. But what about actually going to see that person face to face? To give them a call and actually catch up instead of checking their Facebook status?
“I need to be quickly reachable, in case something comes up, etc etc” Also true and very justifiable. I support cell phone usage. After all, I use mine quite frequently. But I can’t help but wondering if our attempts to makes ourselves more available with texting and the internet on our smart phones is really succeeding? Or are we missing something? Are we exchanging one availability for another? Are we giving people not present physically access to us at all times and in that very doing making ourselves inaccessible to those sitting right across the table from us?
In a book I have been reading recently, “Desire” by John Eldredge, it talks about how the deepest desire of the human heart is “to know and be fully known”. Social media these days has made it very easy to “know” someone. Right now for instance, a complete stranger could look me up on Facebook. They could read my recent status’, look at my pictures, check out the “about” section and in a little bit of time, they might say that they know me… but they would be wrong. They would know of me, but they wouldn’t know me. These are not the same things.
To truly know someone means to spend time with them, face to face. It means taking time away from the other distractions and focusing on another person for a while. It takes interaction, it takes asking questions. It takes listening and it takes time. These are things that I am afraid our culture is forgetting about.
Spending time overseas, in several different countries, I have learned something. Well I have learned several things, but one of the common themes throughout other cultures is that they know the value of time, of communication. Other nations aren’t so consumed by social media because it might not be as readily available to them. So they spend their time together, face to face, talking and sharing and getting to know themselves and those around them.
This is what I yearn for. This is what we were made for. To truly know and be fully known. I’m not saying we need to get rid of cell phones or that social networking is evil. I think it’s a useful tool for communication and for staying connected to those who might be far away. But I do think that we should consider how much time we spend using it and choose appropriate times to check in with them. Discern what’s right for you. Don’t let social media become a distraction from those right in front of you.
For myself, I am choosing to delete all social media from my phone for a little while. Though I love to see all the cool pictures and moments in other people’s lives, I don’t want it to take away from what’s happening before my very eyes. I will be using Facebook only to post my blogs for a little while. I want to be present. I want to invest. I want to know and I want to be fully known.
