It happens all the time.
I am walking through a crowded mall, or out for a run, or even hanging around the camp fire with friends, and suddenly- BAM! It hits me like a freight train……… FLASHBACKS.
I might get this vacant expression on my face or I might just suddenly burst into tears. Everything around me begins to fade away and I am no longer where I was just seconds before.
No, now I am half way across the world.
It happens all the time.
I never know what’s going to trigger them. I can be fully present in the moment one second, and then suddenly I’m gone.
It happens all the time….. and it happened tonight.
One minute, I was in Island Falls having dinner with my parents and family friends. We were talking, laughing and having a good time whenI looked over at a table that had just been vacated of it’s guests. I saw the leftover food still on their plates. And suddenly, I was not in Maine anymore. I was across the ocean, in a place I never thought I would be again…….
Tonight, I was in Cambodia.
This table with leftover food brought back a flood of memories of eating out in Sihanoukville. I remember street kids hovering over us, looking at our plates longingly, waiting for us to leave so that they could grab whatever food was left for themselves. I remember my selfless teammates sharing their sodas with these kids and claiming full stomachs as a reason to leave some food behind. We couldn’t talk to these kids because we didn’t speak their language, but we could show them that they are loved and that Someone is caring for them, even if they don’t know His name.
It’s moments like these that I have so easily forgotten. Cambodia was a place I really didn’t like. My team had been through so many hardships there, I guess it just left a bad taste in my mouth. When we left, I said “Peace out, Cambodia. See you…. never again.”
So you can imagine my surprise when tonight I ended up there in my mind. It’s really funny, because just a few hours before I had been talking on the phone with a local pastor and he asked me how I liked Cambodia. Out of all the countries I picked, he selected that one to ask me about. (He had been there before.)
Now as I think about Cambodia more and more, it wasn’t all bad. There were kids that I met that were precious. There was a lot of hopelessness there, but there is also a lot of hope. Tonight I feel a change in my heart. The Lord is working, I’m not exactly sure what He’s doing, but I know that He is working and if He is working, then it can only be for my good.
So tonight, I have decided to tear down the wall I have built up between myself and Cambodia. Tonight, I pray for the people. I pray for the workers there. I pray for the children and for the hopeless. Lord, let Your hope be known throughout that place.
And if it’s His Will for me to go there again someday, I will no longer say never, but I will echo the words of my Jesus, “Not my will, but Yours, be done.” (Luke 22:42)
