(R Squad at Training Camp!)
Seasons come and seasons go. None is better than the rest, but each one has it’s own beauty and grace woven all through it. As my time of Squad Leading has come to an end, I have found this to be true. Though each season is different, and each one has it’s own joy and hardships, they are ALL beautiful and FULL of Him.
In the midst of all these changes, last week I ended up in a crying mess on my teammate’s bed. She let me put my head in her lap and she stroked my hair as I finally began to allow myself to feel the loss we were experiencing and the change that was quickly approaching.
We’ve been walking with R Squad for the past 6 months. It has seemed more like a sprint than a walk, honestly. At times I felt like I was hiking, fighting for each step alongside them. Then there were the moments where we sat with them in the muck as they experienced true brokenness for the first time. We’ve cried with them, laughed with them, encouraged them, and challenged them. And suddenly we find ourselves saying goodbye. Where did the time go?
As I cried on my teammate’s lap, she continued to speak one thing over me.
“Kay, don’t settle. Don’t settle. Just don’t settle.”
This struck me to my core.I wasn’t even sure why at the time, but I knew that my soul needed to hear those words. I tucked them away in the back of my mind as we prepared to spend our last few evenings with the squad.
Our time with them was beautiful. They blessed us with words of encouragement and love at Thanksgiving dinner. They told stories of us and they prayed for us. And even in the sadness of leaving them to return to America, my soul is at peace and I know that this is good.
(5 Months on the field at R Squad Thanksgiving!)
As I’ve been spending this last week with my team as we prepare for re-entry, I’ve been reflecting on the past five months and getting ready for what’s next. And suddenly I realize why I needed to hear those words from my co-leader that night.
You see, in about two weeks I am returning home. Not just to America, but to my home in Northern Maine. I have been with Adventures In Missions for the past three years, whether that’s been all around the world or in Gainesville, GA. I planned on returning to work with them after this trip. However, the Lord has other plans.
It’s easy to see the adventure and the wonder of the Gospel all around the world, when you’re taking random motor bikes into remote villages just to visit one family or when you’re holding an orphan in your arms as you show the love of Christ to them. It’s easy to feel a sense of purpose when you’re surrounded by people who don’t speak the same language as you, yet there’s a fire in your bones to share the Truth of Jesus with them. It’s much harder for me to see the adventure and the mystery of the Gospel in the frozen tundra of Northern Maine.
(My home in the frozen tundra)
I know that working at AIM would be awesome. It’s a place full of community and encouragement, people who understand me and all that I’ve seen and experienced over these past 3 years. It would be good.
But it wouldn’t be great.
Not because AIM isn’t a great organization (I think by now you know how much I adore them). But when the Lord asks you to go somewhere, the thought of anywhere else loses it luster. It becomes less great because you know that the thing that the Lord has for you is truly great. And I want to live a great life. A life full of abundance. A life full of Him.
And so, I’m refusing to settle for anything less than the Lord’s great. Do I have a plan? No. I have no idea what I will do for work or how long I will be home, but I do know one thing. I can trust Him. I don’t have to understand it or have it all figured out, because He already has it worked out. And there’s so much peace in that. So here’s to the next season, whatever comes I know it will be full of Him and that’s all that matters! I’m excited and filled with anticipation. See you soon, Maine!!!
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Thank you for all of your prayers and support over these past few years. I truly appreciate your investment into my life as I have walked out onto the water. I have grown so much. My life has truly been changed with your help and I can never say thank you enough. And who knows what the future holds? I may return to AIM at a later time.
I am still in need of financial support. I am currently $325 away from being able to join R Squad out on the field for the month 7 debrief and $1,825 away from being able to join them for both month 7 and month 11 debriefs. Debriefs are an essential time of processing and rest in between countries and in preparation for re-entry. My time with my Squad Leaders at my own debriefs was so impactful to my growth. I wouldn’t be the same woman I am today without them. I would love to be able to finish this race out with R Squad. Would you consider Adopting-A-Box? If all these boxes get adopted, I’ll be fully funded. (Box 13=$13, Box 74+$74) Let me know which box you’d like. 🙂
