Ok, so I know I still need to do a post about Gideon:Part 2, but with recent events, I will have to put that one off again. Don't worry, it's coming soon!
This post is to inform all of my loyal readers about changes that have taken place with my World Race. Please read on and don't worry, it's good! 🙂
A few weeks ago, my mobilizer sent out an email to all of the girls on R squad and S squad about the need for people to switch squads, to either Q or T squad. The numbers on R and S squads were HUGE while the numbers on the other squads were, well, lacking. As I read the email, a email that I knew we would be getting sooner or later, I was like "Oh no. Not happening. Not for me." I did put some time into prayer about it, but at the time, I did not feel led to switch squads. So I said "Thanks, but no thanks" and went on with my R squad life. I love my squad. I loved my route. I felt like I was where I was supposed to be. However, I couldn't help but have this feeling that this was not the end of the squad switch. I even told a squad mate that if they asked me again, I might consider it.
Fast forward to last Friday. I received a phone call from AIM staff asking me to consider switching squads. The numbers were too high and too low. There was a risk of being unable to properly launch each squad without creating a financial deficit for all 4 squads. Not a safe place to be, for any of us. My current mobilizer had given my name specifically as someone who would be able to handle a last minute change with grace. As she was explaining all that this involved, everything inside me was a ball of knots. I didn't want to change. I didn't even want to continue listening to what she was saying. Everything inside me was fighting this. I told her I would think about it, but in my head I had already made up my mind. I asked how long I had to decide. "Well, I have to have an answer by 5" she said. It was 1. Talk about pressure!
I hung up and my mind began racing. What this all meant, how could I possibly do this, just a range of questions and thoughts. Chaos is the word that comes to mind. Utter chaos. I was feeling conflicted, convicted, and just downright emotional. I sent a text to my mentor in Christ and dear friend. I had spoken to her after receiving the email two weeks ago. I called her again this time. As we talked, she said "I just keep feeling like this is about surrender." And that hit me. All the week prior, surrender had been a huge part of my prayer life. I had been praying over and over again that I would be willing to surrender everything, body, mind, and soul to the Lord. But to surrender this? My squad, my route? This seemed a little hard. A song came to her mind. "Letting go" by Franscesca Battistelli. BAM- another hit. In January, I received a word from the Lord that this would be a year of letting go. As we continued to talk, I became more and more aware that this was the Lord calling me to switch.
I had said from the beginning of this journey, embarking on the World Race, that I would want to use this year to really press into all of the uncomfortable situations. I believe that there is so much growth that can happen when you press into the uncomfortable things instead of running away from them. I told the Lord that I would follow Him wherever He leads and that I would surrender. Little did I know that He would call me to do so in such a way, a mere week before training camp. But obedience is rewarded, and obedience is what He asks for…
Remember the Disney movie, Alladin? There's a scene where Princess Jasmine and Alladin are being surrounded by soldiers to arrest them. They are in a high building.
Alladin: (Holds out his hand) "Do you trust me?"
Princess Jasmin: (gives him a skeptical look) "..yes…"
Alladin: "Then JUMP!"
He grabs her hand and they jump out the window……
Yup, that's exactly how I felt. Skeptical, fighting almost. Yet God was holding out His hand, asking me if I really did trust Him. And I suddenly became aware that I wasn't trusting Him as fully as I thought I had been….
So I called Kacie back and told her that I would switch. I had an option for which squad to switch to. I could chose Q squad or T squad. I wanted to switch to T squad. Everything inside of me pulled me towards T squad. But I wanted to FULLY surrender. AIM staff puts lots of prayer into their decisions and follow the Lords leading. My mentor had encouraged me to allow them to place me, without saying where I wanted to be. It was hard, but I did just that. And of course, I was placed on Q squad instead. It would be a lie to say that I was not disappointed. There were countries on Q squad that I honestly am not excited for. However, if there's one thing I have learned from reading hundreds of World Race blogs, it's that time and time again it's the countries that Racer's are LEAST excited to go to that end up being their favorites or place of most break through. And so I go, and I embrace the change, knowing that God is good and that He works out ALL things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28)
I had the chance to "meet" some of my new squad mates and they seem awesome! I am so excited to see what God does through this change! The countries I will be going to are:
Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, South Africa, Mozambique, Swaziland, Nepal, India, Turkey, Bulgaria, and Romania.
I am still going to training camp in just a few short days. I am still launching in July. The route is just a little different and the people I am going with are different. But the mission is the same. This is about trust and truly following the Lord's leading. Thank you so much to all of my supporters. I appreciate you so much! I could use prayer during this transition. This is not easy, but I know that it is good and it is going to be such a blessing.
To R squad: I love you all so much! It's amazing how close I have gotten to so many of you without ever having actually met you in real life. You are an amazing group of revivalists that are going to CHANGE THE WORLD and shake it to the core! I will be blog stalking y'all for sure!!! And I will see you in a few days! 🙂
To Q squad: I am so looking forward to this trip with you all! I'm excited to get to know you and meet you in a short bit! God's going to use us for MIGHTY ways and I can't wait to see how that unfolds!
