A few years ago, when I first became a Christian, I mean I was fully sold out for Jesus and all that He has done for me, I had a mentor in my life. She also happened to be my basketball coach. She taught me a lot about the Christian faith and was a HUGE blessing to me. When the New Year came after I first got saved, she shared with me something that she does every year. She told me that before the New Year, she would ask God to give her a word for the upcoming year, something to focus on, for the entire year. I thought it was a cool idea, I did it that year, but I have not done it since. However, this year God had been speaking a word to me for the past few month. That word was "freedom". As the New Year quickly approached, I was talking with God one night, asking Him if I should make this word my "word of the year". He quickly answered, Yes. So my word for this year is "FREEDOM".
As I inquired farther as to why this word would be my word, God began to open my eyes. This year is going to be a year of adventure, with going on the World Race in July. There are going to be many challenges along the way, and I am going to be forced to let go of things I hold on to so dearly. This is going to be a year of letting go and in return receiving the freedom in my life that God truly desires for me. He told me that when we let go of the things He asks us to, there is a freedom released. I realized that my spirit has been yearning for this freedom. I have been seeking it for a while, I was just unaware of what it was exactly that I was looking for. And freedom is one of the things I am really expecting to receive from the race. So this was my word. I accepted it, I even made it apart of my "New Years Resolutions", along with letting go.
And then God pushed me further. "Are you really willing to let go of anything I ask you to?" I found myself quickly replying, "Yes, of course" without even thinking about it. But as my mind started to grasp what I was saying, I was asking myself. "Am I really wiling to give up anything?" As I processed through this, my mind suddenly flipped to the "Shave it or save it" fundraiser that some of my squad mates were considering. Basically, you get people to donate money towards a certain goal and if that goal is reached, you shave your head. I had thought about it, but not seriously. And then I heard that still, small voice. "Would you cut your hair?" I sat back, shocked at what I had just heard. "You want me to cut my hair, Lord?" I questioned. And then silence. I didn't hear anymore. I waited, I prayed, I waited a few more days, and I didn't hear anymore. But the thought started to stir up something inside me. I found myself seriously thinking about it.
He started to make the connection for me. There was nothing magical about cutting my hair. Hair is hair after all. BUT it could be a physical representation of my commitment to "letting go" this year. "Are you willing to give up anything?" I hear Him say again. Honestly, I was scared. I had short hair once, and it was not a good experience. People thought I looked like a boy. I didn't realize how much I clung on to my hair until God was asking me to cut it. And I realized that this would be a great example of letting go. Now it's cold here in Northern Maine. Most people say it's too cold right now and to wait until it gets warmer. After all, we don't leave until July. But I really felt like God was calling me to cut my hair and to do it now, at the beginning of the year, as a physical representation of what I will experience spiritually as well over this next year.
All right. I had decided. I was all in. Nothing to lose, but everything to gain…… and I was scared to death! But I made the call. It usually takes at least a week to get in to see my hair stylist. I figured I'd have a little longer to get used to the idea. However, when I told her what I wanted to do, she quickly said "How about tomorrow at 10?" That NEVER happens. Just more confirmation that this was what I was supposed to do. So I agreed. This morning when I got up, I was feeling anxious, but excited. During my devotional, God gave me peace. So I grabbed a picture of the cut I had felt was the one to get and went in.
AHHHHHH!!!! The nerves!
I got to tell you, I was scared up until the first cut. Once I heard the scissors snip, I knew now there was no going back. And SO MUCH PEACE FELL OVER ME!!!! The only emotion I could feel was excitement! I really was all in, and I couldn't have been happier! "Yes, Lord. I can do this! We can do this!"
As I watched each lock of hair float gracefully to the floor, the other ladies in the salon started talking. "Wow she's so brave." "It does take a lot of bravery to cut your hair that short." "I could never do that!" "It's a risk, but it's going to look great!" I heard them all say back and forth. Funny, I had never thought about it being brave. I saw it as scary, but I didn't recognize it as a risk for some reason. I have never been much of a risk taker. I gravitate towards the "safer" side. God started speaking to me. He reminded me that as His followers, we are called to take risks. The disciples were HUGE risk takers after all. They walked up to people they didn't know, laid hands on them, and watched God perform miracles through them, all among a people who had no clue who Jesus was beforehand. All of the stories about them in the Bible revolve around their willingness to be risk takers! Luke 10 completely sums up the risks they were willing to take, by going out into the world without any provisions and speaking the Word of God to people who may or may not be receptive. They were risk takers! And they are our models. We are called to be risk takers! And after today, I have a better understanding of what that really means.
When all the snips were finished and the scissors laid down, I couldn't believe the feeling I had! My head was so light, my look so different, yet so exciting! I saw the representation and I understood it. I embraced it and I felt the freedom! This is just the beginning! I can not wait to let go of other things, as God leads me to do so. I know it will be hard, and scary, but my God is with me. It may seem risky, it may seem unsafe, but honestly I believe the safest place to be is in the Will of God. So I will do it. I will continue on with this year in an attitude of letting go and being free.
I tried to load pictures, but my internet isn't being cooperative right now, so I will post them as soon as I can. But I did want to leave you with a song. This song cam eon the radio in my car as I was leaving the salon. God is good! It's a great reminder that though I experienced a new freedom through this experience, our freedom has already been bought. Christ paid it all for us on the cross. We are free in Him. Praise the Lord!
