If you’re anything like me then you struggle with your identity, your self worth, and many insecurities. If you’re anything like me then you struggle with being excepted and also with viewing yourself the way that God views you. If you’re anything like me then you might sometimes view yourself as un-loved, overlooked and not wanted or desired. Im finding that feeling this way doesn’t just happen by circumstance. There was probably something in your past that has made you feel like you didn’t belong and that you were to some extent, unworthy.
Maybe you got rejected in your childhood. That time when your friends didn’t invite you to their sleepover affected you more than you thought it would. Or maybe you just didn’t have the luck of getting a friend at all. Maybe you didn’t get the love and attention from your parents that you needed, or maybe you didn’t have anyone to even call your parents or family.
I remember my 13th birthday party when I couldn’t find my friends and they ended up hiding from me in the closet because they didn’t want to include me. I remember when my so called friends always made excuses as to why they couldn’t hang out with me. I always felt like a last resort and forgotten. I remember spending most years of my life wondering what I did or didn’t do to not have many/any friends.
Coming onto the race was hard for me in the aspect of having a team of girls who actually accepted me. I had a very hard time trusting that they wanted to spend time with me and that they genuinely loved me and cared for me.
For these last 6+ months God has been taking me through a healing process from my past. I always knew how I felt and viewed myself, but I didn’t know what to do about it and I didn’t know how much it affected me. When God revealed to me all of the hurt, pain, and damage that I have from my past, I was overwhelmed. I was then showed that I had a lot of un-forgiveness toward others and myself. I started a long process of asking God to reveal times in my life that caused me any damage. Every day new circumstances and times of hurt was revealed. I began praying over them. I asked for a forgiving heart, healing and new eyes.
Things aren’t any easier now than they were before. This is something I’m still walking through. I’m always going to struggle to some extent with this, some seasons worse than others. BUT I now know the to my feelings and I know that I have a God who wants to walk along side me through this. I now know that all of this happened for a reason, to grow me closer to God and to help me trust him and rely on him.
If this is something you struggle with then I want to invite you to join me in this journey of healing. I want to invite you to ask God to reveal the very roots of your pain and hurt, and began asking God to dig out those roots and throw them away. Ask Him to give you forgiveness for those who have scarred you. Ask God for new eyes to see yourself the way that he sees you.
I also want to remind you of the truth that I have received from God – That you are a child of our amazing father, specifically designed and chosen by God Himself! When no one else wants you, God is there to tell you that you’re all He wants. All those times that people pushed you away and told you that you are worthless, God was looking down at you trying to get you to lean on Him and look to Him for your worth. The truth is that you are not defined by what those around you say that you are. You are defined as God’s beloved, cherished and desired creation. When you feel broken and hurt, God is the ultimate doctor and healer.
“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you?”
??Matthew? ?6:30
When no one else takes notice in you, remember to whom you belong to. Take pride in the fact that the God of the whole universe loves YOU and seeks YOU. He has a special future and special plans made out to fit you perfectly. You are unique and special, a treasure in the eyes of God.
You are worth so much more than what others say you are. You are worth more than gold. You are more precious than jewels. How amazing is it that our God gave His life for YOU! When God was up on the cross, I picture him looking down at you saying “you are worth it.”
You are worth it, and don’t you forget it.
