Once I got here I didn’t expect that I’d like it or better yet love it. in fact at one point I never thought I would make it until the end. I laid in my tent the most homesick I had yet to be, uncomfortable from all the changes that had just happened. I thought about quitting and I thought about what I would say to everyone back home when I did. Counting down the days, watching the time pass; I just wanted to leave Africa and go home.
Now here I am near the end of the race saying another goodbye, feeling yet again heart broken. Like I said in my last blog, Africa is different. This goodbye was different. The attachment to these people is a little different too. Living in a small village made it easier to do life with them. We saw the same people every day for 2 1/2 months, in fact we basically lived with them. This goodbye was harder because they have become my family. It was harder because I couldn’t say “I’ll see you again soon” because I’m not sure if I will. It’s hard knowing that I have something to look forward to but I know most of them don’t. It was hard because I want to take them all home with me to give them the things they want and deserve, but I can’t. This was the first time that I’ve ever felt helpless when it comes to helping someone. Most of them are stuck in the small village, never to venture out into the world. There aren’t enough job opportunities, making it hard to earn money ultimately keeping them from their dreams and hopes. I’m not saying that the people here can’t accomplish anything, travel, or chase after their dreams, they just have to strive hard and work for it. I admire their hard work. If they put their mind to it and trust God they can do anything. Everything has come so easy to me, I can’t imagine growing up in their shoes.
A week before leaving a little girl told me she wanted to come home with me; that she wanted to be my daughter and me her mother. What was sad is that deep down I knew she was completely serious. She even went as far as to actually calling me mom. I laughed in the moment but now I just feel an emptiness and I feel bad for leaving her.
My feelings toward Africa and most importantly the people changed drastically over a very short period of time. What I made out to be the most miserable and most hard part of the race turned out to be one of the greatest, best, most challenging and growing months.
Africa stole my heart along with the rest of the world, each country holding a huge chunk of it. My heart for traveling has grown along with my love for serving God and loving his people. The World Race was just the starter for what God has for me. It was a period in my life that was the most difficult and testing time but it all was needed to expand my horizon and views and to set the foundation for my next steps.
For right now it’s time to go home, see the people I’ve so desperately wanted to see and move forward, but of course never forget.
