A week ago today I said yes to the World Race and began this amazing adventure that God has set out for me. There were so many emotions that surrounded my choice to go on the World Race and a multitude more that surrounded the announcement to my friends and family that I would be answering God’s call and leaving them for 11 months.
I wanted to share an emotion that weighed really heavy on my heart today and one that surrounds many of my fellow squad mates as we prepare for our January launch date… Fear of failure!
Today I kept thinking to myself over and over again “What if I fail?” What if I can’t raise enough money to cover my gear for October? $17,000 – that’s SO MUCH – what have I gotten myself in to? How in the world will I cover my personal living expenses while I’m away? What if I’m not as equipped for this as God thought I was? What if I fall? … then after a while of stressing about things that God has all figured out He whispered the following saying in my ear “Oh but my darling, what if you fly?” So I decided to take a deep breath!
Later, when I got home I got a notification that I had received a $25 donation. Anyone who has donated on the site previously has found out that the donations do not show up immediately and as of that moment I had no clue how much I had raised because as of yesterday the website still showed I had raised $0 towards my mission. When I logged in I about jumped out of my skin – $475!!! That means that with my most recent donation I was able to raise $500 in just a weeks time. My first big milestone! God whispered once again in my ear “See, I’ve got this – trust me!”
What a great gut check for me – there are going to be plenty of times over the next year and a half where I am going to be scared of failure. Whether it be financially, spiritually, physically, socially or mentally. I know the next year and a half is going to be filled with me having little to no control and continuously trusting in God’s vision for me.
Over the past week I have been busy working on the foundation of what will be my fundraising platform and making arrangements for the year to come. I have stuffed almost 200 envelopes, drafted and edited sponsorship forms and emails, written my first blog, visited REI to get fitted for all of my gear, registered on REI so that sponsors know what to order, set dates for a World Race car wash, World Race Shower & cornhole tournament and a World Race yard sale and searched for caregivers for my 2 dogs. The amazing thing is – I have not been doing this alone. The love and support I have received from friends and family members so far is overwhelming. They believe in me so much & it seems that they see the same thing God saw when He called me on this mission trip.
So yea – that “Fear of Failure” I mentioned earlier >> I am here to tell you is the Devil’s handiwork because God tells me each day that I CAN! He sends me affirmations through friends, family members, coworkers and even the radio. On the way to church on Sunday the radio announcer stated “Our job is to believe, God’s job is to do the impossible.” Like, wow! Did he really just say that? It is my job to put in the work required and trust Him to do bigger things than I can possibly imagine even as I sit here typing this tonight.
What a first week it has been and I didn’t want to go to sleep tonight without sharing a few of these thoughts with you. $500!! Praise the Lord!!
Goodnight, God Bless!
-Kayce
