From the day I first wrote this blog, I will officially leave for training camp in 26 days and for Launch in 2 months and 23 days! I feel like just yesterday I was applying for the Race and now I’ve bought my gear, booked my flight to training camp, and I am meeting the people I am about to spend nine months with out on the field. Knowing how quickly this time has flown by, I can only imagine the whirlwind of experiences and emotions that will take me to the final stretch of the World Race in 2020. There will be days full of laughter and hearts filled with love and purpose. However, along with those beautiful days there will be days that my heart breaks for what is around me and days where I’ll wonder what I am doing in another country longing for nothing else but the comforts and familiarity of home. For the days I question myself and God’s plan, I can look back on my “Because” and hopefully you will get more insight on the reason I chose the World Race.
I was so fortunate to grow up in my home church, Bridge, surrounded by family and friends that supported me and cheered me on in my life and walk with the Lord. I grew up being loved and I grew up with the lessons and stories in the Bible instilled into my life. However, for much of my early life I think I saw Christianity as a way to perfect just myself. I saw the Bible as a book of stories to memorize for trivia in Sunday school class, chapters to memorize for sword drills, and rules to follow. My perspective and spiritual maturity was completely changed over one life-changing week the summer before sixth grade at the Nehemiah Project. While rebuilding a local house, worshiping with peers, and listening to our guest speaker preach over the week, the religion was completely transformed for me.
Bright and early every morning and later in the afternoon after a day of working, we listened to Weyman Howard talk about love and the power of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit had always been a distant and insignificant concept to me. The way the speaker described it, though, showed me that way of thinking was completely wrong. The Holy Spirit is a present form of God that watches over me and prompts my heart. I learned to listen and tune into the Holy Spirit. The speaker told testimonies and stories about the amazing miracles and impacts you can have on other people if you open your heart to hearing the Holy Spirit’s prompting. The stories showed me the amazing power of transforming one’s life through love. In that week I realized what it was like to actually have a relationship with this God I had learned about my whole life. He wasn’t just a name in the Bible, but an actual present spirit that loved me and cared for me. He already knew everything about me, but he was waiting for me to open my heart up and begin a real relationship with him. I didn’t see rules anymore, but guidelines for how to build a life that reflected Jesus. This life would not be one of my own, but one that I would live to love as Jesus loved. I wanted nothing more than to hear that voice the speaker talked about hearing. I wanted to be used to touch other people’s lives as the speaker had told stories of doing. I wanted to have that abundant and supernatural love a part of my life and I wanted to be known for the way I loved. What is the purpose for knowing about one of the greatest gifts of life if I wasn’t going to display it in all its glory to share with other people?
The speaker talked about loving everyone even if it was hard because you never knew what was happening in that person’s life. Maybe you could be the one person that treats them differently and shows them the type of Love God offers freely. The Bible never tells us to judge who deserves to be loved and who is hated. The Bible says the second greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:38). Sometimes caring for someone and loving them can be the greatest testament to what you believe. That week I made a conscious and intentional decision that I was going to love everyone. It didn’t matter if they hated me, if they were mean to me, or if I didn’t agree with them. There is so much freedom in choosing to just love and there is so much pain in choosing to harbor hatred against people.
So here’s the new picture on Christianity my thirteen year old self had- The Bible is more than just stories. It is full of examples of God’s power, his deliverance, his relentless love, and examples of other people choosing to follow his calling. The Bible isn’t full of rules to check off a list, but is a guideline on how to live a Godly life. It isn’t game over at the first mistake because there is this amazing gift of mercy and forgiveness. And because we aren’t perfect and need it a lot, we should extend that same forgiveness to other’s in our life. Next, the Holy Spirit is real and present. I wanted to open my heart the same way as the speaker to listen to the Holy Spirit and his tugging on my heart. I wanted to be used to show the Love we receive every day to other people. Through this, I began to understand that Christianity isn’t meant to be kept to yourself and to make ourselves as perfect as possible before the time comes to face judgement. No, I learned that as Christians we have a mission. We are called to love and to show that love to EVERYONE. We are called to make disciples of others. We don’t stop when we’ve decided to follow God, but instead we continue on to show others the amazing gift of eternal life and the release of worldly problems that can be experienced through choosing to love others and allowing God to be the captain of our lives. I was so transformed that week that I chose to give my life to this mission of love and discipleship. And starting sixth grade that year I was so ready to leave that school and go out into the world. I wanted nothing more than to have a life where on a daily basis I served people and I loved them hoping to see the Holy Spirit working in my life as it did the speaker. As I leaned more into understanding the depth of Christianity and read the Bible for myself, I realized that God has made everything and planned everything in perfect timing. My time hadn’t come yet to go abroad, but he was using me right where I was. I had a whole school, a church, and a community where I could make an impact by leading a life of love and choosing to be different than the world around me.
…and since that week in 2013, I have always held fast to that mission to love, and to serve, and to tell others about the gift of eternal life awaiting them. And since I discovered the amazing power and freedom of choosing to LOVE, my life has never been the same. It hasn’t been perfect and positive every single day. In fact I have never felt more attacked in my life. There is, however, a new found confidence and trust that carries me through those days. I don’t always recover quickly from a valley, but I recover. I may not win a battle, but I’m in it for the long run to win the war. And that confidence comes from the fact that I know I’m already on victory’s side because the Lord is fighting for me. He is fighting for all of us everyday because he says you are worth it. Despite anything we have ever done, he says we are worth it and we can walk in confidence knowing with him on our side we have eternal victory.
I hope that during my time as a student, I stood out in the hallways. I hope that when people remember me, they remember how I made them feel. I pray I made them feel loved and worth it. As I FINALLY walk out of that school and into the dreams the Lord had so intentionally filled me with since that summer in 2013, I can’t describe the surreal and joyous feeling it fills me with. That is the feeling I want to remember on the hard days these next nine months. When I question myself I want to know I went BECAUSE I never want to stop loving and never want to stop telling people about the love they can experience. I have felt the difference in my life and I never want to stop listening to that tug on my heart that leads me everyday. The Lord breathes life into us each day and I am not planning to waste it. When I doubt his plan I went BECAUSE each day is precious and each day I have a chance to love someone who may not feel loved and tell someone they are loved when no one tells them they deserve it.
