Imma be real honest. The past two weeks have NOT been easy. I mean shout-out to winter for deciding to finally show up. . and shout-out to Tennessee for shutting down during Snow-pacolypse 2015. .and shout-out to colleges everywhere for canceling classes. . but then the workload hit. Everything you miss on those snow days, in college (life) you make them up, you don’t just skip them. So then ensues the busiest week of the whole semester thus far. If you’ve done schooling of any kind, or if you have children, or if you’re just perpetually exhausted, you know the week I mean. The week where circles under your eyes become permanent features and Taco Bell becomes gourmet dining. The halls are filled with the sounds of students running as fast as they can to print off that assignment that was rescheduled for 8 a.m. Monday morning. A casual nod or grunt of solidarity in our exhaustion is the only exchange of words (sound). You know. THAT week.
I found myself running on a grand total of maybe 8 hours over the course of about 3 days. I had hit the point of exhaustion that I wasn’t even tired anymore. I walked into my apartment and started to clean everything. Dishes were done, laundry was washed and folded, bathroom was cleaned (preface: I’m a nervous/stress cleaner). The week was terrible but I was actually still functioning. I made it to Friday and that light at the end of the tunnel was oh so close, and then I crashed. The weight of the entire week hit me and with it came the stresses of the entire semester. I cried over graduation, over the fact that I wouldn’t see my friends for almost a year in just over 5 months, over the fact that in the next two weeks I foresaw not one moment for me to take time for myself. I collapsed into bed and grabbed my devotional just to glance. It was one of those things where you get so absolutely desperate for the Lord to reveal himself that you almost dare Him to show you exactly what you need just by opening the page of a book. I’ve done it many a time. The pages said:
“It is good to recognize your weakness. That keeps you looking to Me, your Strength. Abundant life is not necessarily health and wealth; it is living in continual dependence on Me. The more difficult your day, the more I yearn to help you. Anxiety wraps you up in yourself, trapping you in your own thoughts. When you look to Me and whisper My Name, you break free and receive My help. Focus on Me, and you will find Peace in My Presence.”
Mind. Blown.
So there in my pitch black room, I whispered His name and I let go of all the things that had been plaguing my thoughts the past few days. The next morning I woke up, and I don’t think I could explain how astronomically better my day went. The weather was gorgeous. The people were happy. My worries suddenly didn’t seem so bad, so big.
So I logged onto my World Race blog to check the status of everything and seriously I almost fell out of my chair. Why you ask?
BECAUSE THIS GIRL HAS HIT HER $1000 MARK!
Even as I’m typing, I can’t figure out how to put the elation I’m feeling into words. God is blessing me immensely. How good it was in the midst of one of the lowest points I’ve hit in a while, He sent me multiple reminders that He is here for me, I just have to look to Him. I have to depend on Him constantly because clearly when I don’t, I end up lying on my bed sobbing my eyes out. . and who wants that am-i-right?
So encouragement for your day/week/life. Turn to Him. Whisper His name. Receive His help. His blessings are so much more rewarding than anything we could achieve on our own.
PSA: I turn 22 tomorrow!! As a mini-fundraiser, I am asking that if you are able, you give a gift of $22 for my 22nd birthday! Once again you can donate by using the Support Me option listed on the left side of your screen. Donations are tax-deductible and absolutely every gift matters! Thank you to all who are continuing to support me whether it be financially, prayerfully, or by spreading the word!
