God and I have been talking a lot latey about FOMO and here is what I’ve learned.
For those of you who don’t know what FOMO is, it stands for the Fear of Missing Out. This can look like missing out on events, things back home, experiences, or rites of passage. I feel like all of those things happened all at once when I was in Africa two weeks ago and God and I had to have a little chat about it.
It all started when my team approached me with the idea of going to Mole National Park for an adventure day and going on an african safari there. I thought immediately, Yes. I want to be there with my team. BUT, then the Lord asked me, “Do you really want to go, or do you just not want to miss out?” It hit me hard because I think a lot of things in my life are done, not because I want to, but because I don’t want to be the only one not doing it. I have felt like an outsider most of my life and if I could do something to fit in, you can bet your bottom dollar I would be there doing it. So, God and I decided that it would be best if I told my team I couldn’t go and I would stay home and spend much time with the Lord.
They understood and began preparations without me, and then I got sick. I was beginning to question if I was sure I should stay home, if I was sure I shouldn’t miss out. The Father knew I was fickle and self conscious and questioning so he gave me Malaria and that solidified my decision.
While laying in bed with Malaria, I had a lot of time to continue thinking about FOMO and other areas that I struggle in that way. It just so happened that both of the camps I have counseled with the last few years had camp the same week and all of my students were posting pictures. I had a moment where I was thinking, I am sick in bed in africa with Malaria and my campers are having fun without me at camp. What am I even doing here, but then I really thought about it. Im in Africa! Like when am I ever going to get that chance again? God has me right where he wants me.
That weekend while doing Ministry, I had child after child yelling “salienga my turn, my turn” and I had a realization. FOMO is ingrained in us at such a young age. And it’s universal. We want what other people have. We want to be doing what they are doing. Whether its a little Ghanian child wanting their turn to ne thrown in the air by the Salienga, or the teenageer watching her friends get their licenses, or the young adult wishing for her time to find the one and get married while everyone around her gets married and has children.
It just grows and manifests and it’s a real fear. But if I’ve learned anything from the Lord this year, it’s that perfect love casts out fear. When we center ourselves around the perfect example of love, Jesus, we don’t need to worry about what everyone around us is doing or not doing. We gain knowledge and understanding of his sovereignty and that he knows when and if something will happen to us. He is perfect and loves us and so when we cling to him, we don’t need to fear.
So as I continue my journey here on the Race, I need to remember. Yes this is a once in a life time experienc, but I don’t need to do everything just because everyone else is doing it and I don’t want to be the only one who missed out.
