I leave on a plane to Atlanta for the last fews days of training before embarking on the most amazing, challenging, blessing filled, crazy, wonderful year of my life in just 9 short days. I am sitting here a mess and a half trying to make sure everything is accounted for and that I am seeing everyone I can before I leave. As the days tick closer and closer to departure, it is getting more and more real that this is actually happening and its not just something that I am talking about doing. Here is a list of 9 things going through my mind 9 days before launch.
1. “Where has the time gone?” I remember signing up for the race six months ago and thinking that 6 months was a really long time and that it was really far off in the distance, but here I am 9 days from leaving and I feel like time has moved at warp speed. It has been such a full and amazing 6 months though, spent with some of my favorite people in some of my favorite places and it has been filled with laughs, and hugs, and more love than I can handle.
2. “Am I forgetting ____?” I have woken up from dreams(nightmares) recently freaking out that I have forgotten my passport or clothes or my wallet or my whole pack and its making me fret that I am forgetting something. The Type A in me is having a field day and its eating into my day to day.
3. “Have I told them I love them?” I am trying to spend as much time as a I can with people who mean the world to me before I go to the world. I have had so many prayers and attention put on me recently, but I just want to make sure the people loving me know that they are loved in return. I love you all even if I forget to tell you.
4. “I am God’s first and everyone else’s second.” I keep thinking about how hard it is saying goodbye and how I belong here, I belong with these people, in this place, at this time. But the reality is that I do not belong to anyone but Jesus. He is my first and my last and everything in between and I belong where he sends me.
5. “How do I fit this all in this pack?” Seriously though, how do I fit a years worth of my life into a 65L pack? I keep taking more and more clothes out and still its too much. I need to really think about all of the things I want to bring and set aside 80% of it.
6. “Eleven months is a very long time.” It has hit me within the last week that eleven months is a very long time. I think back to who I was and where I was eleven months ago and I hardly recognize that Katy. It is crazy to think who I will be when I get back and what the Lord will have done in me. Its crazy to think about all that I will see and do and experience in the next eleven months. Eleven months is a very long time, but it will be an amazing eleven months.
7. “I am not ready….” The enemy has been speaking lies over me recently that I am not ready. That I am not capable, that I am not spiritual enough, that I am not ready. I had the opportunity to talk with my alumni connection yesterday and she told me, no one is ready. But the Lord called you and he will equip you. It was really encouraging. I may not feel ready, but I am fully capable because he comes along side me and walks with me. I am not alone, because he is there.
8. “God is so good!” Together we have raised over $11,000 and that is completely because of the Lord stirring and moving people. I am confident that the other $5617 will come. He has taught me that he is a provider and that he wants me to go on this trip. He has brought me this far, why would he fail me now. He never fails, he is perfect in all of his ways, he is a good good father.
9. “Thank You!” Thank you, each and every one of you who has taken the time to pray for me, to donate to my trip, to talk with me, to love on me. Thank you. It is because of you that I am able to do this. Thank you Mom and Dad for bringing me up to be the person I am today. Thank you Lexie Jo for pushing me to be myself and not care what other people think of me. Thank you Ekklesia family for showing me what it looks like to love the least of these. Thank you Thrive for showing me that I am a leader and that there is nothing that will satisfy me but Jesus. Thank you Chunkies for being the best friends I could have asked for this last year, for your jokes, our crazy adventures, and for loving me through my weirdness. Thank you Sarah and Ryan for encouraging me and supporting me in all the ways you have. Thank you Coramdeo family for showing me your love and welcoming me in to your fold. But most of all, Thank you King Jesus for bringing these people into my life and showing me your love through them.
Ready or not world, here I come.
