At the beginning of this year, I was completely mortified by the person who stared back at me in the mirror. And it wasn’t just one thing. It was everything that I was.
Month one of the Race I was on an all women team and it started to get pointed out to me that I talked so negatively about myself. I made jokes that were negative. Little comments here and there, but my team called me out super quick. Every time I said one bad thing about myself, I had to say three good things. I as well as my team can say that at the beginning, I couldn’t think of one good thing to say. Not one.
As the months have gone by I’ve realized a change. A change in the way I view myself. The exercise really helped, but what made all of the difference was where my identity was rooted. Like I said, I looked into the mirror and hated what I saw well because I looked at myself as no one important. I felt like I wasn’t anyone to anyone. No one wanted me. No one loved me. I was nothing. So I treated myself that way.
That is freaking wild.
I started questioning who I was and who God says I am. Anytime a bad thought comes up in my head towards myself I take it directly to the Lord. I know I think this God, but what do you say? It started to make a difference. My brain was unhealthy which made me physically unhealthy. My Father in heaven calls me his daughter. He loves me. He tells me how beautiful I am. How creative I am. How IMPORTANT I am.
I don’t believe the lies the enemy tries to feed me anymore. My worth isn’t found in others validation. I see pictures of me 11 months ago and I think that’s not me. Old Kat looks so freaking different. If I put a side by side you might think I look exactly the same which is 100% possible. But when I see those pictures, I know how far I’ve come. That I love old Kat as much as this new Kat.
I posted a picture of me like maybe 24 hours ago and I couldn’t help but think MANNN I look gooooood. And it’s not in a cocky way, but in a “I actually like who I am” way. God has transformed my brain. He has cast out the lies and heck, I know now that I’m a freaking catch! I know my strengths and embrace them. God did not create us to be upset with who we are. He wants us to love us, because he loves us.
Times are tough guys. The world never wants us to be satisfied with who we were created to be, but God is so so proud of you and the way he made you. Inside and out. So freaking own it.
Ask yourself, “do I like what I see?” I hope you do. But in the chance you don’t, ask the Lord if he likes what he sees. Ask him questions. Listen to what he has to say. I now know that I like what I see and it has everything to do with what he says. That it’s ok to love yourself. That you should and if you don’t, he will help you get there.
You rock. Don’t forget that.
