“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:6-7
You know the familiar phrase “butterflies in the stomach” that refers to that anxious twisting or dull ache in the pit of your belly? Upon committing to and coming to terms with the massiveness of this journey I was embarking on in the World Race, this term explained how I began to feel. I have wrestled fear in my life and through the strength of God’s hand come out victorious! However, launching into this wonderfully exciting albeit daunting adventure God placed before me, I found fear was coming to knock on the door to my heart once more.
One day, searching for some peace, I set out to what I have found to be one of the best ways I connect with my heavenly Father, and that was to set forth on a long walk to no destination in particular! As I strolled along I prayed, “Oh Lord, I am only at the beginning of this journey. Is this to be my life now? Will I simply be wrestling fear endlessly from here on out?”
I’m sure y’all have experienced those fluttering butterflies before, so I don’t need to explain in detail that it’s not a pleasant feeling. Without resolution it can begin to take a toll on your day-to-day life. It can diminish your appetite, unsettle your mind, impede on your time with God, and, if your really let it take root, begin to bring strain on the relationships surrounding you. Therefore, the prospect of enduring the fateful friend all the way through this adventure deemed less than positive in my mind.
So I walked, I prayed, and in still small voice that brings the clearest clarity God spoke to me. It wasn’t anything eloquent He spoke to me, in fact I couldn’t understand it at first. He simply whispered, “Use that fear.”
Use that fear? What could that possibly mean? Wasn’t it fear that interfered with being used by God?
He spoke once more and said, “Let it drive you.”
As I walked I pondered, and bit by bit I began to understand what He was saying. Fear can result in two reactions in us, 1) It can cause us to curl up and give in. 2) It can empower us. It can become the very thing that fills us with a passion for the cause that drives us to fear.
The way I see it, if we experience fear in regards to something, it must be because we are rather invested in it. I am rather invested in this cause to become involved in missions, spread the heart of Christ, and connect with people all over the world to share the Good News of salvation! That’s why I fear falling short or being unable to accomplish this call. Therefore, acknowledging this, I can take hold of that fear and use it to become even more impassioned!
With a whole lot of grace and faith, I am learning to capture what the Devil would use to destroy and take hold of it for God’s glory. Fear you don’t own me!
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
