I’m gonna be really honest with you here. I’ve been avoiding updating my blog because I knew that if I did it meant that I would have to open up and be vulnerable and that’s just not something I’ve been eager to do lately. And I’m not quite sure what there is to be gained from this post, but my prayer for you is that you learn something from it because I’m certain that God has planted this in my heart to share with you.
Lately God has been heaping the blessings on me. I mean just HEAPING them on me. And to be honest I’m not sure how to take it or handle it. I feel like there’s a catch. Like there’s something terrible around the corner and I’m just waiting for it to unveil itself. Like these blessings are too good to be true. This is because I have a problem with assuming the worst. I have trouble with being on my guard, on defense, instead of embracing the blessings that God has ever so graciously placed directly in my lap. And I know I can’t be the only one whose struggled in this area.
I think one of the reasons that some of us struggle with this is because we don’t believe that we’re worthy of receiving good things. We are so hard on ourselves and by doing so we subconsciously think “Why would God give me this or do this for ME? Why?” We don’t think we’re worthy of receiving His goodness. By the way, being so hard on ourselves is NOT from God. He doesn’t plant that negativity in our hearts and we shouldn’t either.
I think the other reason that we have trouble embracing His goodness is because a part of us doubts the vastness of His heart. I know there is a part of me especially (ashamed to admit it but gotta keep it real) that doesn’t believe that God can really be THAT good. That he wouldn’t just bless me but ABUNDANTLY bless me. A part of me thinks that He might be teaching me a lesson or trying to give me a taste of His goodness by teasing me.
But the truth is, God rejoices and genuinely LOVES to bless us. Just like any parent, He loves His children and it makes him so incredibly happy to give us things that will make us happy or help us. He only gives good gifts, and boy does He show that! I think that when we start to really believe that He is sitting there so eagerly to bless us, we start to see how vast His love really is for us. We start to see Him as someone who wants the best for us (more than anyone else) and just wants to show it.
I can’t help but wonder how much more of a blessing it would be to actually embrace and enjoy and roll around in whatever we receive from Him. How different it would be and how different our hearts would be if we really soaked up all that He brings to the table instead of second-guessing or doubting it. I can’t help but wonder of the joy we’d be partaking in if we just received it with a thankful (and SUPER PUMPED) heart. It’s okay to be confident and excited about the things that are offered to us. It’s okay to be happy and rejoice in it.
Drop the mic.
P.S. I’ve gotten all of my vaccinations and mostly all of the important things are taken care of trip-wise. My first deadline has been met and I’m working towards my second deadline that’s due at the end of December. Any donations are appreciated and a special thank you to all of you who have financially supported me in this opportunity! You are all so amazing. And of course, please keep praying for me as it’s MUCH needed. Peace out girl(/boy)scouts!
