Geez. Where do I even start? This blog is going to be an attempt to update all of you on where I’m at in my trip preparation and mentally/emotionally in this process. I’m just gonna be real with you guys and not sugarcoat anything. So hang with me!
The last time I posted an update, everything was fantastic. ALOT has happened since my initial update about my trip. For starters, and with much consideration, I made the decision to give up my apartment to move in with my parents to save money that I will be needing for my trip. This was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made because although I love my family, living with them would mean that alot was going to change. And that was terrifying for me because I was so used to things being how I wanted them to be since I was living by myself. I knew it would mean I would be sacrificing alot. For example, I don’t get much sleep at all anymore because I share a room with my baby brother who is almost 2. It’s hard to take naps (if possible at all) because there’s 4 other people in the house and not just me. I have to pick up after myself more than I was used to. I have to be extra quiet in the mornings when I’m getting ready for work so I don’t wake anyone. I don’t have the privacy I’m so used to having. On the other hand, I get to spend this season spending more time with my family before I leave the country for a year which I strongly believe will help make it alot easier for me and my family whenever I’m gone. I will also be saving a large amount of money by not having to pay my usual rent and bills. That’s money that I will use to go towards my passport, my plane tickets to and from training camp, my plane ticket to the starting point where we launch for the race, the flight back home at the end of the race, all of my vaccinations (insurance doesn’t cover any of it), and all of my gear. I felt that God was calling me to give up my comforts and my luxuries in order to be all in with Him. It was a test of faith to say the least. Honestly it was one of the scariest decisions I’ve ever made. The thoughts that were flooding my mind were “Am I being stupid by doing this?”, “What if I don’t raise the money in time and then I’m stuck at home?”, “Am I being irresponsible by doing this?”, “Is this God talking to me or am I losing my mind and becoming crazy?”, etc. It was only the first of many leaps of faith that I’m going to have to take in this journey called The World Race.
With this money that I’m being able to save, I feel somewhat less stressed. But do NOT let me fool you: I am in low key PANIC mode. Like super high anxiety, high stress, loss of motivation, fearful attitude, doubting heart, kind of PANIC mode. Don’t get me wrong, I am BEYOND excited for this rare opportunity to minister to people overseas for a year and to share the love of Jesus throughout the nations. It’s one of the biggest blessings I’ve ever been given. When I first started fundraising for my trip, the money was rolling in. The idea was fresh, everyone had questions. The next month was good as well! The month after that I didn’t see many donations. The month after that, which is this month, I have seen the least since I’ve started. It’s really hard not to get discouraged at these things but there is also alot of pressure to meet the financial deadlines to make this trip possible. I’ve never been in a spot where I’ve had to fully trust the Lord like this and it’s going to stretch my faith undoubtedly. I know that the money will come in at the right time and that God is just trying to teach me that I have zero control over the amount of money that is raised. It’s HIS work, not mine. And that’s hard. But I know that God called me to this journey and He’s not going to leave me out to dry. That’s not the kind of God that He is. He is going to provide all that I need, even if it’s on His time frame and not mine.
If I haven’t responded to some of you I apologize from the bottom of my heart! I have been so crazy busy and to be honest it’s only going to get busier from here on out until I leave for my trip. I was in Louisiana for a week for work, I had a back injury, my brother graduated college, my sister moved back home from college for the summer, I’ve been working a ton, fundraising, and spending time with my family. I am becoming extremely overwhelmed with the amount of things that I have to do within the next couple of weeks such as finish applying for my passport, getting all of the necessary vaccinations, and purchasing my plane ticket to and from training camp.
SIDE NOTE: Training camp is October 16th-26th (in Georgia) and is an 11-day preparation for the race. I will finally meet my squad members in person and we will be put in teams and finally get to bond with each other. These are the people who I will be living with for a year so far away from home and I am SO STINKING EXCITED to meet all of them in person!!! It’s going to be such an amazing year.
MOST importantly, I want to thank all of you who have donated to my trip so far. Each and every one of you are so greatly appreciated and I have been SO grateful for the support and kindness that you all have extended to me. God is so good. Right now Satan’s attacks are coming in hot so I ask that you continue praying for me in this season. It’s been the farthest thing from easy. So please, help me by praying for me. And if you are in a place to donate and want to help support me in my journey then message me so we can chat! 🙂 I love all of you and am so beyond thankful for this incredible opportunity!!
