I had it all.
I had what everyone dreams of having when they get older. But who could’ve known that the Holy Spirit would start a small flame and make it grow bigger and brighter, burning more intensely throughout the years. And I got a feeling… it’s just getting started.
I had a beautiful house, a long term relationship, a passionate career, and an awesome job… what more could a girl want? Except that every night after work I would sit in my car for at least a half hour, not wanting to go inside, but also not wanting to leave. At that time, I didn’t know that the Holy Spirit was making me uncomfortable in my very comfortable life. At that time I could not believe how unhappy I was with a life that others would have loved. I kept reminding myself about how selfish I was for having these thoughts of not being content.
When an opportunity for a mission trip to Haiti became available, I jumped at the chance. When I agreed to go and started the process of preparing to leave, I did not realize how that one choice was the turning point in my life.
During my trip, I was assisting Dr. Simon with a dentistry clinic. We were serving the community by assessing teeth and extracting any that were causing trouble. The clinic was extended by one day due to the high volume of people that came and I was disappointed due to the fact I would be missing the opportunity to hear a sermon on baptism that was happening that very same day. I’ve heard plenty of baptism sermons before but for some reason, I had a strong desire to hear this one. While Dr. Simon was extracting a tooth from one gentleman he asked me if I had ever been baptized before and I responded with no. He asked why? I shrugged and said “I guess I feel like I’m not good enough to be accepted by Jesus.” Simon eagerly started explaining to me that it’s not about what I have done, it’s what Jesus has done. I’ve lost count how many times I have heard this before but this was the first time it went from my head and right into my heart. The next day, I got baptized with several other Haitians in the nearby bay. It was beautiful. On our way back, the Haitian people were singing songs of praise and the world had a new light, with everything appearing brighter. My soul was on fire.
When I came home from Haiti, my long term relationship ended the next day and I moved out of my house. Within a year, I left my job, my career, my family and friends to traveled, which I always had the desired to do. I realized after my trip to Haiti that God has so much more planned for me, that I was made for more. I’m not sure what that more is, but I know for a fact, like the sky is blue and the grass is green, that I was make for more.
