“ There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”
~ Ecclesiastes 3:1 – 8 ~
It’s funny how seasons or phases come and go into our lives, many times without us even knowing we are experiencing something different or knowing what season we are even in. That is how my last few years have been, and I didn’t realize it until just recently.
It’s both the big and the small things that fluctuate in life. Things like not being ready to have a new dog after an old one dies, being ready to jump into the working world or wanting something else, blogging or avoiding it at all costs, being in a relationship with someone or not being ready for a relationship, seasons flow in and out of our lives in so many noticeable and unnoticeable ways.
Being out here, and living life in a different manner each month, many times with different people has made the seasons in my life overall become more and more evident.
I knew before I left the for the Race in January that I was worn out, I was beyond tired of college, it seemed like it was just one thing after another going wrong, even up until the last week of student teaching, but what I didn’t realize was how much of a funk that put me in. I didn’t want to be there, to sound cliche I wasn’t “buying in”, I just wanted to be done with school and on with life, but at the same time that didn’t mean I was ready to start a career, the truth is I actually dreaded the idea of teaching and looking for a job. That season has now passed and I really look forward to having my own classroom, building relationships with my students and, starting that part of my life. (Well except for job hunting, I don’t look forward to that)
A month ago it was daunting to think about the fact that we only had five months left on the Race, I wasn’t ready to think about the future or what I would be doing when I got home. Now, my perspective has changed, we now are going into month eight, which means only a month has passed but I can honestly say now that I look forward to going home in December (Don’t get me wrong I still want to finish the Race, but I can see the possibilities for the next year now, unlike before.)
Back in the Ukraine, and throughout South Africa, I realized that I hadn’t been myself for the entirety of the Race (Hard to explain what I mean, but mainly it was in a bunch of small things, combined with the realization that I had lost a big part of me in the last few years at home), but last month was a different story, I realized the side of me that I was missing (in part) was back when I spent my days with Manuelinho and the other boys at Kedesh, there the pressures from the Race both perceived and actual didn’t play a part in my daily life really.
All of this to say, Seasons come and seasons go through our lives and its taken me some time to come to appreciate the seasons I have gone through and that I know I will continue going through both when I get home in December and as I finish up these next four months out here on the Race.
