Hi everyone! I’m sure most of you have noticed that I am still in the country, and not living in Costa Rica like I planned be. I am very excited to share that my plans for this next year are completely different than expected. I spent the past year very committed to going on The World Race: Gap Year. This involved applying, waiting for my acceptance, attending counseling sessions every month, getting all of my doctors to sign off on me going, an insane amount of fundraising, and mentally preparing myself and my loved ones that I would be away from home for 9 months living in three different countries. It took a lot of work and commitment to even make it to training camp.
Weeks leading up to training camp I had this feeling of self doubt I could not shake. Buying all of my gear and plane ticket made me realize how close this adventure was. Anytime I had these feelings in the past I could just push it off, reassuring myself, “It’s so far away, you don’t need to worry” or “ When the time comes to leave, you will feel secure in your decision to go”. Training camp was right around the corner, and I could no longer tell myself these things. I became irritable when anyone tried to talk to me about training camp or help me prepare because I had so much anxiety and confusion built up inside of me. I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone partly because so much work had been put in by so many people, but also because I was embarrassed. I had talked up this huge journey God had called me to for years, and it truly felt like my plans were meant to be different. I was no longer excited, just filled with anxiety and guilt.
I decided it was just nerves, that as soon as I made it to Georgia all of these negative feelings would disappear. So, with only telling one person how I truly felt, I boarded the plane all alone, crying. I arrived in Georgia and met all of the people I would be spending the next 9 months of my life with. They were all so kind, supportive, and fun. For a second, I felt like things could work out and God would take my negative feelings away. The first night at training camp my whole squad sat in a circle and each person shared their story and why they chose the race. I could tell how passionate each one of them were to be taking on this big, scary adventure. Sure everyone was scared, but their excitement trumped all of those fears. That’s when I knew 100% I was not meant to go. It was not fair for my squad mates, the leaders, or myself to just “stick it out”. I had to leave training camp.
Thankfully, everyone at training camp and my family were so understanding. They all prayed for me and wished me luck on whatever God had in store for me. The next morning I talked to our leader and she told me about mission trips that had a shorter duration. I was very interested in looking more into those, so she set up a call with my advisor at the time. That afternoon I hoped in a van and made my way back to Kentucky. After a lot of time, consideration, and research, I found the perfect mission for me.
Im so excited to let everyone know that God has called me to a two month mission trip to Africa! I will be leaving in June 2020 to head to my first destination: Swaziland. I was so happy to see that another trip would be stationed there because it was the place I was most excited about from my original trip. My new squad and I will be living there for a month before going to Jeffereys Bay, South Africa. My summer will be spent running day camps fro children, teaching, and working in orphanages, all while spreading the word and love go Jesus Christ. I am also happy to announce that I am fully funded!!!! I am feeling excited and ready for this journey. I feel at peace with my decision to completely take my plan for this next year and flip it upside down.
I just want to give a big thank you to my family and friends & everyone at adventures in missions for being so understanding and supportive. I could not get through this and feel confident about my plans with out the love and prayers that have been sent my way.
