This post is inspired by J Squad. Hope you find your type, ya weirdos!
I’ve been slightly ~obsessed~ with the Enneagram for probably close to a year now. I know of men and women who have dedicated their lives to exploring this personality “system” of sorts, and I’ve personally found so much freedom and understanding in learning about my type.
SO LET ME TELL YA ABOUT ENNEAGRAM 4s! The “individualists” of the world.
Here are the key motivations of a 4 (taken directly from the Enneagram Institute–check them out here!):
[4s] want to express themselves and their individuality, to create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else, to attract a “rescuer.”
Ok. So maybe you’re thinking, “yeah, that sounds like Katie.” Or maybe you’re not. I’ll be honest–at first I was not. But let me break down this type for ya; maybe in doing so, we’ll both walk out of here with some clarity.
- 4s fear that we’ll have no identity or personal significance. Basically, we want to be special. I have no shame in saying that I want to be important, unique, known. I think a lot of people do.
- Because we want to be unique, 4s have a deep belief that we are fundamentally different from other people. While this can be a motivator for creating a positive identity, it’s also a huge proponent of isolation. It’s really easy for us 4s to think that we’re alone, that nobody could possibly understand us, or that we’re too much for others to handle. And that gets messy sometimes.
- We’re dramatic (lol). Our emotions can take over to the point that sometimes we believe that we are how we feel. Which is ridiculous, and we know that. But it doesn’t make it go away. Like, if I’m frustrated at something, I literally think that I will never feel another way than how I feel in that moment. INSANE because that’s obvi not true.
- HOWEVER, we love our feelings and choose to understand them instead of push them aside or pretend they don’t matter. EVERY FEELING MATTERS. And we want to know your feelings too!
- Healthy 4s are the most transparent and vulnerable people you will ever meet. Ask us to share our deepest wounds, most profound tragedies, greatest hopes and dreams–we’ll willingly share our literal thoughts with you. We want to be fully known…but sometimes, you actually do have to ask.
- We daydream A LOT. It’s often extremely difficult for me to be present and to “get out of my head.” But we come up with great stories!
- 4s are self-aware and introspective. Let us verbally process! I usually know the right answer or what needs to be done, it may just take me a lot of words to get there. 4s know our Truth.
So that’s a pretty basic overview of what it’s like to be an Enneagram 4. I know I left out a lot of details, so if you’re interested, you can read more about 4s here.
I actually thought I was a different number on the Enneagram scale (I love you 6s, but it never felt right!) until I was chatting with a couple friends this past spring. Both of those ladies are 4s, and as we were catching up on life and our thoughts and hopes and everything in between, one of my friends touched my arm and gently said, “Katie, I think you’re potentially a 4. You should look into that.”
Spoken like a true 4.
At training camp, my Squad got hooked on trying to discover our Enneagram types. A handful of us had already spent some time studying the Enneagram prior to camp, and it’s been entertaining to watch everyone else try and figure out their numbers. As the discussion continues, I want to remind y’all that it can take time! Sometimes you just have to read through the 9 types and see which description feels like it punches you in the gut. That’s your number right there.
SO WHY IS ANY OF THIS IMPORTANT?
I love learning more about the Enneagram because it provides awareness and perspective on how I view the world and how I view myself. The more I learn about my type, the more I catch specific tendencies and thought processes that I want to improve upon. AND ALSO, people are so freaking cool! I just want to learn more about how we think and act and operate. The Enneagram helps me do that.
Want to know your type?
Click here to take one (of many!) Enneagram tests.
Click here to read through all the types.
And if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask 🙂
Alright, ladies and gents-this 4 is peacing out!
K
