Five of us went to Bamboo Bar and waited about 30 feet from it. It was 3. We waited. It was 3:20. Other girls were coming out. A mamasan came out and talked to one of the Wipe Every Tear girls who was with us. She said that 2 of the girls were passed out drunk in the back and the other 2 had gone home with men and we needed to leave. But none of them were drinking. There were no men in the bar. All of us immediately knew that she was lying, but there was nothing we could do. We had to leave so that they could go home and sleep. We couldn’t go inside because we don’t want the girls to get in trouble and be even more abused. We just had to walk away. My heart was in shambles and I was in actual physical pain from leaving. But we had to walk to McDonalds to get the girls who were meeting us there, back to the hotel. So destroyed, I walked to McDonalds.
As I sat on a curb between the entrance of Walking Street and McDonalds at 4 am, I was so angry at God. It was completely consuming me and making me question God’s goodness and who He is. Why would He let those girls remained trapped in this life when we were there to give them a way out? Why would He have the ones He calls “daughter” and “beloved” be prostituted day in and day out? Did this happen so that I would learn something He had been trying to teach me, because if so there had to have been another way?? So many questions were circling around and around in my mind. I was just fuming and feeling dead inside simultaneously. But I was interrupted when a lady sat down next to me.
She had two bags that were twice her height full of plastic bottles. She started using hand signals in hopes of communicating with me. She wanted money for food. I asked her to walk into McDonald’s with me. Her eyes filled with fear and I could feel her pulling away. A Filipina I was with told her it was okay and that she would watch her bags. I stood up and put my hand out. She grabbed it and when she stood up, her head barely came up to my belly button.
When we got to the McDonald’s door, panicking, she pointed to me and hid behind me and the guard just nodded and opened the door. When she took her first steps into the restaurant, all her walls came down and joy washed over her. She walked up to every customer and made an attempt to shake their hands- some scoffed at her and turned away- but others similes and returned the gesture. Thankfully other World Racers were already inside because when she started DANCING, they got up and joined her. We shuffled hand in hand to the counter.
She ordered and the words “triple it” came out of my mouth. I had exactly enough money-like EXACTLY enough- to cover the cost of the three orders. Once we got our food, we went around and shook everyone’s hand a second time, had another dance party, and walked out.
A middle aged woman was waiting eagerly outside for us. She introduced herself and told me she was the old woman’s daughter. A young boy stood with them also. Three people stood in front of me and I had 3 full meals to give out- what? I asked the daughter what her mother’s name was and she said a word in Tagalo. I repeated it and she said “Yes, she wants you to call her Grandmother.” The daughter continued talking to me for a while and I learned that her mother (my new grandmother) was 95 years old!
Randomly, when they walked away, wayyyy more grateful than they should have been, our bizarre interactions started to makes sense to me. I realized that this was the first time she had ever been allowed in McDonalds. That in 95 years, she had been so “unwanted” and “dirty” that she wasn’t ever welcome to go into a fast food restaurant….
I got into a trike with some girls and we all went to our hotel. I had the privilege of taking them up the elevator, to a room that I had prayed and worshiped over just 12 hours earlier. Of course, the first question they asked was, “what’s the wifi password” hahah.
Chocolate milk to drink and wanting the wifi password- THEY ARE JUST LIKE ALL TEENAGE GIRL, it’s actually ridiculous!!!!!
I went to my room, laid down in a bed already full of my friends and had a great 2 hours of sleep. We got on the bus and found out that 22 girls were coming with us…
I didn’t even care that much. I was still pissed at God. All I could think is that it could have been at least 26 girls. Why not 126 girls??? God so easily could have made a way for them all to escape, He’s the God of the Universe, the Author of Life.
On the last night the parents were staying with us, we all gathered one last time. People made beautiful speeches, parents talked, Wipe Every Tear talked, leaders talked, racers talked. At the end of it all, they wanted to close in worship. We start singing songs and I sat there pissed at God.. still.
After one song, I got up and SANG. I sang and I meant every word I was singing. God is always good and just and perfect and right. He knows far beyond what I know and how dare I sit in my flesh and judge God. He loves His children knows past, present, and future. He knows what He is doing and He does it perfectly and justly.
I was singing with all my might and I heard the words from the verse in Matthew, “Freely you have received; freely give.”
I have received SO MUCH freedom simply because where I was born and the color of my skin. I have no other option but to give that away to everyone and anyone I come into contact with. I need to give it away constantly and I need to start doing it now.
I told this to my teammate after worship, and she said “okay do it. nothing is bigger than the Lord, nothing can stand in your way.”
So, I sat down with my mom at breakfast the next morning and told her that I wasn’t going to go to the college I had been planning to attend. I was going to put my energy and time back into missions, instead.
Now, I don’t know if that means come back to the Philippines or go somewhere else, but that’s okay. I have less than 40 days to be present and work on the mission that God has given me right now, to gain perspective, to go back home, and then go back out again. I know that I need to return to missions and give away everything I have been given.
Okay last thing. A few days after this, I was shoving paper randomly into different spots in my bible. A couple of hours later, I opened my bible to read, but all the scraps of paper were nicely in one page. I started reading where they were and they had been bookmarked at Isaiah 61. In my bible it’s titled, “The year of the Lord’s Favor”. GO READ ISAIAH 61 RIGHT NOW!!!
Here’s the ESV if you don’t have a bible on hand:
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to bring good news to the poor;
he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
2
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor,
and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn;
3
to grant to those who mourn in Zion—
to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit;
that they may be called oaks of righteousness,
the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.
4
They shall build up the ancient ruins;
they shall raise up the former devastations;
they shall repair the ruined cities,
the devastations of many generations.
5
Strangers shall stand and tend your flocks;
foreigners shall be your plowmen and vinedressers;
6
but you shall be called the priests of the Lord;
they shall speak of you as the ministers of our God;
you shall eat the wealth of the nations,
and in their glory you shall boast.
7
Instead of your shame there shall be a double portion;
instead of dishonor they shall rejoice in their lot;
therefore in their land they shall possess a double portion;
they shall have everlasting joy.
8
For I the Lord love justice;
I hate robbery and wrong;
I will faithfully give them their recompense,
and I will make an everlasting covenant with them.
9
Their offspring shall be known among the nations,
and their descendants in the midst of the peoples;
all who see them shall acknowledge them,
that they are an offspring the Lord has blessed.
10
I will greatly rejoice in the Lord;
my soul shall exult in my God,
for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation;
he has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
11
For as the earth brings forth its sprouts,
and as a garden causes what is sown in it to sprout up,
so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise
to sprout up before all the nations.
