My friend asked me, “do you think your would have changed without the race?”
… I believe that God is miracle working and can change all situations. I believe that He can soften the hardest of hearts and welcomes the most unworthy people. I have no doubt that WITH God, anyone can change.
I do have doubt in myself. I don’t know if I would have allowed God to work in me how He did and when He did in my life. I don’t think I would have let Him in and devoted my life to Him (when I did) if I had just gone to college, got married, and began my career. I wouldn’t have spent the time to ask real questions and dig deep into what Christianity is and who God is. I really just don’t believe that I could have had the relationship with God that I have now if I just finished my freshman year in college- once again, not because God isn’t big enough, but because I didn’t prioritize it or care about it.
When I went on the World Race, I think in the bottom of my heart, I was betting on it to be a cure, to change me, to fix everything that was wrong in my life. I was expecting that once I went on the World Race, I would have worked through all my past issues, have perfect faith, and have a set future- I have none of those things, yet have still learned more and grown more than I can put into words.
The World Race is not a cure to a better life, it’s not a cure to a better relationship with God, it’s not a cure to anything. I was still the one who had to ask God to change my heart, to change my desires. I had to walk in discipline and work through really hard things. I had to start my relationship with God where everyone does- building the foundation of it.
My gap year makes complete sense in my head as a skyscraper. My gap year’s purpose was to start digging through rock and hard, old dirt in order to lay a foundation. God has poured the concrete and started laying layers. I don’t even feel as if the first floor is even complete- maybe even the basement??- I don’t know yet. What I do know is that I HAVE a foundation!!! And that that is the first step in building a skyscraper. The World Race was just one way God has used to prepare me for more, for what’s next.
The World Race is not a cure. It has been one of the biggest blessings for what I have learned from it, and the experiences and perspectives I now have and get to take away. I am SO thankful I got to do this. I am SO thankful God called me to do this. I am SO thankful for these past 9 months, and am so undeserving. I am so thankful that God has let me participate in this at this time in my life.
The world race isn’t the “cure” to a different life, but God is miracle working and has softened my heart of stone and changed my desires.
