Because our squad’s South African Visas were expiring at the beginning of February but we were scheduled to stay until March, we got the opportunity to travel to Swaziland for a long weekend!!
Everyone met up at the Johannesburg Airport and we bused to a city called Nsoko in Swaziland.
Our squad leaders continued to encourage us to ask God why we were here, what our purpose was. The only word that continued to fill my head was “gift”. It was very dirty there, we were living in a place that was not meant to accommodate 40 people, it was HOT, the food was subpar, etc.
I mean, sure, I thought it was very fun and I was thankful to be visiting another country but this wasn’t my idea of a gift.
Backtrack a little…
The last few weeks in South Africa had gone well. We met wonderful people, did really cool things, and held really cute babies. But I felt my heart slipping out of things. I was showing up to ministry to do my “job” and nothing more. I was just in a rut and my motivation was dwindling.
Back to Swaziland.
There was time to rest there. There were good conversations. I got to see and talk to my friends who I hadn’t seen in a month. We had zero agenda. I even pet a Zebra!!!
It reminded me of how kind the Lord is and how He knows everything about me. He knew I needed a weekend of rest and rejuvenation, of refocusing on Him, of getting my passion back. He was kind with the way He did it. It wasn’t harsh in any regards. I didn’t even know I needed a long weekend of rest but He did. He knows everything I like and dislike and He likes existing and spending time with me and enjoying what I enjoy. He restored my passion for returning to South Africa with a new attitude, a fire for the people, and eyes to do and see want what He wanted. He reminded me that my emotions and circumstances are not my god- He is my God. He is constant no matter how I feel or where I am at in life.
We had to bring all of our stuff with us to Swaziland because there was a chance that we wouldn’t be able to return to South Africa. And when we were driving towards the border, I didn’t realize how badly I wanted to be in Soshanguve and how badly I wanted to do greater.
Swaziland was a gift. A gift that my Father blessed me with. A gift that I didn’t want or think I needed, but He is kind and knows better. His love is extravagant and so intimate simultaneously.
He got us back across the border and to our ministry site safely. He restored so many things and gave me so much rest. He gave the perfect gift because He’s the perfect Father.
Very thankful to be worshiping such a GOOD GOD.
