We finished our first month of ministry and are now at debrief! We have three debriefs throughout our race- one now, one in the middle, and one at the end of the race. For five days we get the blessing of staying in a hostel, taking HOT showers, resting, processing everything, and filling ourselves up in preparation for the upcoming months (and our coaches and squad mentor come and it’s so fun)!! A few times throughout each day, our leaders teach sessions on a variety of topics. One of the squad leaders, Aubrey, just finished teaching on shame. So here is a glimpse of what she taught about and what I got from it!
Shame is universal- every single person experiences it. Shame is found in Genesis chapter 3, making it one of the first emotions discussed in the bible (interesting fact: in the last verse of chapter two, Adam and Eve were “unashamed”… which means, it took about 7 verses for ALL of humanity, at that time, to go from feeling unashamed to feeling so full of shame that they hide from God).
Having and living in shame requires us to put “masks” on. The masks we have on allows us to hide our shame from those around us so that they can’t really see how much pain we are in and how we truly feel about ourselves. We even try to hide it from God. Nobody likes it when other people see all their faults, let alone a perfect God.
Luckily, our God, whether we allow ourselves to believe it or not, knows what we have done and what we feel shame in. He doesn’t condemn us, He loves us through it and wants so badly for us to come to Him. If we bring our shame into light, God will help heal us and give us freedom in that. He wants us to express our shame, so we can take off our masks, and ultimately, be confident in the unique, loved, and wonderfully made people each of us were created to be.
As we started looking at what we feel shame in and the masks we are using to try to hide it, I realized that in every label I have- friend, daughter, Christian, sister, student, granddaughter, etc.- I have shame. I have so much to bring to God and into the light. Although it’s daunting looking at all the shame I have continually put on myself and live into, I know that as soon as I am vulnerable with God about all these things, He will provide freedom. Every lie I place on myself will be replaced with His truth. Vulnerability will lead to intimacy with God. I’m so overwhelmed but I am simultaneously at peace because I know what fruit will come from this.
We leave for Haiti on Tuesday morning, so please pray for safe travels and opened hearts!!!
XOXO, Katie
