Here we are. India. Contemplating the past 10 days of being here is almost impossible for me. Everything I’ve ever known is many miles away. Daily, its a process of learning how to depend on the Lord even more then the day before. Here in India we stay at a church building, I live in a small room with 7 other squad mates. We have our tents set up to avoid all the bugs, so I’m learning to embrace the camper life. Even though its only been a few days, living here is a completely different life. I can’t even explain how everything has changed, how you learn to accept the millions of bugs by your bedside, how normal personal hygiene is a dream, how I can’t remember the last meal I ate that didn’t involve rice and curry or even what air conditioning feels like. Trust me when I say that these aren’t complaints, but rather I want to explain how despite these circumstances that may sound hard, it has transformed my heart and mind to think and feel differently about everything. I bet your thinking, its only been like a week and yea you’re right, I can’t imagine even a month from now. In all honesty, the beginning has been so hard, I can type words easily, but believing them looks a lot different. I miss the easy comforts of life, my friends and family but being away has begun to shape my identity to reflect what I depend on, and since things like sports, friend groups and art in a way have been taken away its caused me to change a lot about how I interact with people and understand myself. Because of that, my relationship with the Lord has grown as a product of relying on Him more for my identity. So far India has rocked me in every way possible.
We received our ministry that we will be doing for the month and its construction/ yardwork / pulling weeds at the church we are staying at. I’m not gonna lie, I’m frustrated about it. My mind is telling me that I should be working joyfully and with a willing spirit but my heart is looking at other teams preach the Gospel, pray for people and I’m struggling to find purpose in the work we do. I can’t say that I’ve really come to a conclusion but while my heart is conflicted, my mind knows the truth of the matter, that this work is still honoring the Lord and helping the church that we are staying at. I know the Lord has a reason for our ministry and our team will bond in the struggle of working together to finish the work before us. Even though its hard to accept I look forward to growing as a team and serving the Lord.
